Has there ever been a more pointless item of clothing than the necktie? If you are a man, it is supposed to be part of the uniform, especially if you are to be regarded as ‘smart’. If you are a newsreader, a politician, a Sky Sports football pundit or if you are doing anything deemed to be important or respectful, a necktie is vital. You can understand the need to wear underpants, trousers, a T shirt, a sweater (ask your dad, kids), a coat and shoes, but a necktie?
A necktie serves no useful purpose. You put it round your neck, wrap it up with a semi-elaborate knot and there it hangs, doing nothing at all.
I have an aversion not just to neckties, but to the very idea of buttons, which means shirts. I have been told often enough how smart shirts look, especially with neckties (oh no), but again, I can’t see the point. What’s wrong with a nice T shirt, or…ahem…a sweater or a hoodie? No buttons, easy to put on and take off, what’s not to love?
But, I digress. Neckties. Almost in the words of Edwin Starr, “Ties. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.”
I prefer to shop at ‘Scruffy Gits R Us’ and certainly not where you buy neckties. I know that in the eyes of some folk, I am probably regarded as someone who is probably too old to wear a T shirt and denim jeans, but in the eyes of myself, and, after all, they are the only eyes I have, I cannot for the life of me see the point in wearing a tie.
If you disagree, and you really do think I would look incredible sexy and irresistible wearing a tie, and your name is Natalie Imbruglia (this bit is crucial), I might just change my mind. I still won’t really understand but in at least one case I could be open to persuasion.
