It is a simple fact of life that only old people talk about the weather. In fact they – we? – obsess with it. It’s too cold, too hot, too windy and always too wet. It is obvious why this is the case. Old people have too much time on our hands.
We also remember when we were children, summers were always, without exception, hot and sunny and the days never ended. We had proper seasons in those days, too. You could actually tell them apart. Now they all blend into one long season, which of course is an endless winter. To which I say this: bollocks.
This current winter has been exceptionally wet, no doubt about that. However, with the exception of golf, I’ve not been stopped from doing anything. I still go out with family and friends and if I get wet, then I get dry soon after. It is not much of an issue with me. In fact, in contrast with my fellow oldies, I actually like winter much more than I used to. Yes, I do hanker after warm sunny days but it isn’t the end of the world when I am constantly let down by this maritime climate.
When I look back at old photos, which in my case are usually black and white, it is rarely sunny. And if I am honest with myself, the weather wasn’t actually that great when I was younger. The only holidays I enjoyed as a child were to West Bay in Dorset, where a lot of family members spent a week, occasionally two weeks, crowded around the table of a tiny caravan playing cards or Monopoly because it was pouring down with rain. I do not recall ever going to the beach at West Bay because the summer weather was always too bad (or good if you like rain).
On Wednesday of this week, I squelched my way around two supermarkets and found myself trapped at the check outs with my fellow old people who were talking about – yes, you’ve guessed it – the weather. In normal circumstances, I avoid the staffed check outs because I rarely do a big shop at a supermarket, unlike many old people who still prefer to, despite the waiting and inconvenience. This is probably because they will get an opportunity to talk about the weather.
If the weather is becoming more extreme than it used to be, then it is still only a more extreme version of how it used to be. Being Britain, we do not have a climate like, say, Spain or Greece and we never will. And if you like our wonderful countryside, a lot of water from the skies is a necessity, if not at the current inflated levels. However, if you prefer the climate of, say, Spain or Greece, then get your skates on and move there before free movement ends.
When the weather pisses me off, I can more than compensate by being with my family and friends. I can go to the pub, I can watch a sporting event, I can go to a record shop, I can do any manner of things I like to do that I probably couldn’t do abroad. And anyway, when and if the sunnier, warmer weather does finally show up, I’ll appreciate it even more. However, if it doesn’t, I can simply go to my local supermarket or log in to social networks and join my elderly comrades in moaning about the weather. Young people have more pressing issues, like making their way in life and having a good time, whilst we’re hanging around complaining and waiting for God to come along to put us out of our misery.
