To my absolute astonishment, the producer of the James Bond movies says there will never be a female James Bond. It’s political correctness gone mad, isn’t it? Er, er, they’ll be banning Christmas next for fear of offending Muslims! Except that it makes perfect sense for there to never be a female Bond. The clue is in the name.

James Bond is a made-up character. He flies around the world drinking and shagging wherever he can and solves complex crimes in between. He’s not necessarily a white man, but he definitely isn’t a woman.

Ah, but you say: “Doctor Who” is now a woman, to which I reply, “And?” It just so happens that every Doctor to date has been a bloke, but what kind of name is Doctor? It’s sexually neutral. And anyway, given Doctor Who is a made up time traveller, the writers and producers can change his or her sex whenever they feel like it.

Surely, if people want to have an all action Jane Bond type character, then they’re welcome to make a movie of her. That role will have to be played by a woman because – yes, you’ve guessed – because Jane is a girl’s name and because she is a girl, or would be if she existed.

This is surely not any kind of issue, except perhaps the chattering classes who want to make something out of nothing. Granted that James Bond is probably not the best example of the modern male, he is – I repeat – totally made up. There are surely more important issues to fret about these days?