It’s great to read that Prince Harry that he is quitting his role in the armed forces in order to pursue conservation projects in Africa. Obviously, it’s not a real job – he’s a royal, after all – but I suppose it will be a nice change to be saving things instead of shooting them. Perhaps he can have a word with his father and grandfather, along with other royals who profess to be active conservationists, and convince them to stop shooting animals in the name of recreation?
It must be hard being Prince Harry, though. He is no great intellect, despite having had the best education money can buy, but he seems a good lad whose heart is in the right place (did you see the Invictus games last year?) even if his head isn’t. His brother, seemingly an amiable cove too, finished his military career some time ago and now, in between rushing round opening hospital wards and shaking hands with people, he flies the Air Ambulance service in Essex. Generously, he donates all of his salary to the Air Ambulance charity, preferring to live off government hand outs.
I do think Harry and William get it. I think they know that they are part of an archaic monarchy that comes from a previous age and it’s one that most people are comfortable with or, at worst, can’t be arsed to call for its abolition. We all know the royals have no real powers and the vast bulk of their functions are largely ceremonial but as soon as it has been announced that one of them is visiting, the crowds will be out in their thousands in order to wave and be waved back to.
As Clark Griswold memorably pointed out in National Lampoon’s European Vacation, when asked what the Queen actually does, “She queens!” Well, that’s how I see it too. One of the bearded royals turns up at the Wimbledon tennis tournament every year to shake hands with ball girls and boys and umpires, Prince Edward does the gigs the more senior royals can’t be arsed to do (possibly). Princess Anne pretends to be Scottish and supports their rugby union team (a bit rich when you consider that her son in law used to play rugby for England) and Prince Charles writes letters, in between speaking about architecture, vegetarianism and combing his hair across his bald head. Oh and calling for Sharia law to be introduced.
And the Queen, bless her, queens.
The royals almost always live into old age and in some cases very old age. Prince Phillip is now in his 90s and Liz isn’t far behind. And it’s obvious why: they don’t have to work for a living. That’s not a criticism because, like I say, there is no majority for wanting to get rid of them, but let’s not kid ourselves that being driven around the country to cut ribbons and engage in minor chit-chat is quite the same as doing a proper job.
And Prince William only married a commoner, Kate Middleton, who is the daughter of common or garden multimillionaires Michael and Carole Middleton. That’s as near to riff-raff you will ever see at Buck House.
I see no end in sight for the royals who provide, if nothing else, some escapism, at least for them, from an uncertain and dangerous world. What’s the alternative? More politicians? I’m not sure the UK is ready for that just yet. We’re not really sure what the royals are for but whatever it is we like it.
Someone has got to be in charge of the Church of England, haven’t they? And who better than a dysfunctional family of divorcees and adulterers?
