Ryanair has banned duty-free alcohol on its flights from the UK to Ibiza. We learn that the decision has been made to improve the “comfort and safety” of passengers, or to put it another way, to stop pissed-up idiots running naked down the aisle, abusing and fighting with cabin staff and generally behaving like arses.
I have been fortunate to have never been on a plane where disorder has occurred. I have seen the odd drunk over the years, but generally speaking people have behaved themselves. Our usual flight is to Corfu, so the plane usually has a good sprinkling of lads on their way to the paradise resort of Kavos, with its long road comprising of traditional British sports bars, noisy clubs, takeaways, used condoms, sunburned vomiting buffoons and people with motorcycling injuries, but to be fair they are well behaved enough on the way out and near comatose on the way back. After all, most of them have two weeks of liver destruction ahead so they need to pace themselves at the start.
It must be bad on the Bristol to Ibiza route though for Ryanair to ban duty-free booze (it isn’t really duty-free booze these days, not in the EU) and I do wonder why. I have spent two holidays in Ibiza and to be fair, the white isle does not appear to have much of an issue with the 18-30 (IQ) brigade, outside San Antonio, that is, and San Antonio certainly does have an issue with them, but are they much worse than the lads who go to Kavos, Ayia Napa or Malia? Must be, I suppose.
It is important to avoid accusations of hypocrisy here since a pre flight pint or two is an essential part of my first day on holiday. I always assumed it was compulsory to enjoy a beer in the departure lounge regardless of the flight time. You’re on holiday, aren’t you? Most people do not usually ply themselves with industrial quantities of alcohol, but there are plenty who regard the whole purpose of having a drink simply to get bladdered. I rather enjoy a couple of beers and a glass of red, not necessarily simultaneously, but the aim is definitely not to get bladdered. That usually ruins it for me. The same goes with holidays, always has done. I remember my pals all going on holiday to the party islands and the sole reason they were going was to get slaughtered for two weeks and they usually succeeded, returning with an excellent “bar tan”, meaning no tan at all. I was, and am, far more interested in other activities like lying on a subbed, reading and eating, with a drink or two as a non-optional extra.
You do worry that one day, a couple of idiots will cause so much trouble on a flight that they might even bring it down. Let’s be honest, cabin staff are not usually heavily-muscled and it would not take much to overpower them. I have a solution. If something kicks off on board, the captain can advice the miscreants that if they do not settle down, he will land the plane at the nearest airport, have them removed and bill them for the extra landing costs involved, as well as having them prosecuted (it’s an offence to be drunk on board a plane). As this will run into many thousands of pounds, even the drunkest of drunken idiots might wise up. Follow that with a lifetime ban from the airline and you have a certain disincentive.
By all means enjoy that 5.00 am pint of lager and have a few glasses of wine an hour or two later as the plane is underway, but don’t ruin it for everyone else because if you do, you won’t get a second chance!
