Sometimes, you watch or listen to a sporting pundit, usually a footballing pundit, and think: “Hmm. I think I know as much, if not more, than he does.” Other times, like when I observe Gary Neville, I simply listen to what he says. Last night, I heard former England full back Danny Mills “go off on one”. Guess which category he came under?
Mills, you will recall, was on that bonkers FA panel that recommended that the lower leagues of English footballer become a mix of lower league clubs and nurseries for big clubs. He was about as convincing as Nick Clegg when he tried to justify tripling student tuition fees after promising to abolish them. Talk loud and quickly to cover the fact he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
You always get the impression with Mills that he speaks first and doesn’t think at all. Since finishing his playing career, he has been as involved in coaching and management as I have. So not very. He is described on wikipedia (so it must be true) that his job is that of a pundit. Well, so am I when I watch football on telly.
Mills decided to defend Jose Mourinho’s latest outburst last night. Chelsea’s manager had decided to abuse a referee in a recent game, admitted doing so and was then punished by the FA. Referees were “arrogant” announced Mills and they were only right 70% or sometimes even only 50% of the time. Rugby referees were right 95% of the time, he continued. If Mourinho had been punished for calling the referee a “cheat”, that would be ridiculous of the FA. Mills thinks it’s all right to call the referee a cheat, then.
So it’s all right for parents at an under 12s football match to call the referee and linesman cheats, then? That’s the logical step forward on the basis of Mills’ argument. I ran the line for kids teams for years and was often called a cheat and worse. I assume I was “arrogant” by honestly giving decisions as I saw them. Officiating is not a world of perfect; it is the world of opinion, or making a judgement when you are not sure. If you want total perfection, remove the pitch referee and run the game on the basis of a TV director and a dozen strategically placed cameras. Fans could even introduce a new chant, “Who’s the bastard on the gantry?” We could stop the game for every throw in to get the video official to check if it was awarded to the right team. Be prepared for four hour games. Rupert Murdoch would love it, what with all those extra ad breaks.
The arrogance is purely Mourinho’s. He is the man who signed the wrong players in the summer, the man who sacked the team doctor, the man who blamed individual players for the mess he is is, the man who blames the referee, the FA and just about everyone else except himself.
He has something in common with Danny Mills, though. He shoots from the lip and doesn’t think things through. At least Mourinho has a great CV as a manager which Mills cannot remotely match. As bores, they are both in the Premier League.
