Why can’t we just have done with this Brexit malarkey? I am almost literally sick to the back teeth of Brexit.  Can’t the politicians just get on with it, stop this insane act of self-harm which will make us poorer and lessen our influence in the world and pretend Brexit never happened? You can but hope.

I have barely listened to BBC Radio Five Live this week because of its overwhelming obsession with the subject. The otherwise excellent Nicky Campbell and Rachel Burden have turned the Breakfast Show into a two and a half hour phone-in every single day. Who are they talking to?

Brexit is occupying everything. Even a Facebook group for my old school contains the usual idiotic comments you get from people who do not understand what the hell is going on. One says, “Goodbye EU, hello freedom.” Freedom from what exactly, I didn’t reply. Freedom from having the freedom to travel, live, study, work and retire anywhere in 27 other countries?  That’s a very odd freedom, losing our freedom to be free. Freedom to make ourselves poorer, perhaps? Freedom to reduce migration, a freedom we always enjoyed but chose not to do so because it benefited the economy, didn’t it, Mrs May, who happened to be the home secretary who was directly responsible for migration. It goes on and on, the madness we have voted for. And don’t think it ends here.

On the contrary, the current gridlock and division in our country won’t stop when and if we finally leave the EU. That’s the easy bit. The following years, perhaps decades, will be taken up with negotiating new agreements, not just with the EU, but all the other countries with whom we already have trade agreements through the EU. If like me you are bored senseless with Brexit, have I got news for you!

I don’t want Theresa May’s terrible deal, I don’t want a TV debate between two of the worst politicians this country has ever produced (May and Jeremy Corbyn), I don’t want my children to lose all the benefits of free movement I enjoyed. I don’t even want those who voted leave to lose their own rights to retire in the sun, even if they were daft enough to vote for it.

I hate saying “I told you so” and instead I shall address those who told us leaving the EU would immediately take us to glorious sunny uplands of money trees, a well-funded NHS and stopping those wretched foreigners from coming to work here. Brexit hero ‘Dr’ Liam Fox said a deal to leave the EU would be “the easiest in human history”. People: we have been lied to on an industrial scale. And the chief liar, the devout christian Theresa May carries on lying, as if that was what her God would have wanted her to do. “Thou shalt avoid the question and tell Porkies!”

We need to talk about something else. Anything else. We cannot and must not carry on with this crazy Brexit, which we now know was led by tinpot English nationalists whose agenda is to rip up what they see as ‘big government’, abolish regulations on everything from workers’ rights to food (chlorinated chicken, anyone?) and open up the country to wealthy tax dodgers.

Brexit is not, and never was, about ‘taking back control’ because Britain is now poised to lose control and influence in just about everything. The EU was not broken and it didn’t need fixing. Britain was not broken, but it is now. And stopping Brexit is the beginning of fixing it. Then we can change the subject.