Apparently, the multimillionaire former prime minister David Cameron, who set this country on fire by accidentally taking us out of the EU, says he is “bored shitless”. Having caused Brexit, Cameron promptly quit not just as PM but as an MP, leaving hopeless inadequates like Theresa May in charge, a woman who has made things even worse. Cameron wants to come back to frontline politics and quite fancies being foreign secretary. Please don’t take this personally, Dave, but just fuck off, won’t you?

Soon, the former PM will have a memoir to flog, even though he can’t think of a name for it just yet. I am sure that this hopelessly divided country will be able to help with a few ideas.

The cook and campaigner Jack Munroe stepped forward straight away with an idea that might alleviate Cameron’s boredom. He could leave the posh shed in his back garden and volunteer to help at one of the four food banks in his former constituency. After all, he’s more than a bit responsible for plunging people into hunger and crisis with his austerity driven government attacking the weakest and most vulnerable. I suppose it won’t be as lucrative as going on a speaking tour, but perhaps Cameron has a conscience after all? Or maybe not.

It is so easy for these politicians. It wasn’t just Cameron who walked away as the country drifted up Shit Creek without a paddle. His old friend George Osborne, the architect of austerity, left soon after the disastrous Brexit vote and the likes of Boris Fucking Johnson and David Davis soon followed, leaving their mess for someone else to clean up.

What world do these people live in? Do they not know about the millions in poverty, the many people who suffer because of the collapse in social care, the sick and disabled who were dumped on by the people who now declare they are “bored shitless”? Or perhaps they just don’t care?