Back for good

I’ve woken up with my head full of song lyrics. They’re all to do with my imminent and, I hope, permanent, return to actively supporting Bristol Rovers. I’ve submitted my first programme article in years and next Thursday (Thursday? What’s that all about?) I’ll be, in the words of the great bard Gary Barlow, back for good. At long last, I am actually excited at the prospect of watching my beloved team play football. “It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me and I’m feeling good.” (Nina Simone.)

At the turn of the year, I confess that I never thought this day would come. Years of petty arguments in between major disagreements had worn me down. When others had moved on, got on with their lives and decided to ignore the temporary custodians (the former owners), the passing of time had healed nothing. They had, instead, left me feeling nothingness. I know it was just me but, as I never stop saying (although I do tire of saying it) we are all different and see and feel things in different ways. I just could not get over myself. Friends, one in particular, had been wronged and I saw my divorce from Bristol Rovers as a personal point of principle. For all the good times I missed, I don’t regret a thing that I did. A few that I said, but none that I did. In my mind, for my conscience, I did the right thing. End of.

Slowly but surely, the feelings are starting to come back. The disillusion and apathy that built up over the years has gradually subsided. I have missed my friends and acquaintances. I can’t wait to see them again.

I have said more than enough about the previous owners of Bristol Rovers and now I have no feelings at all for them. I think it is important to learn from the past in football as in real life, but I must not live in the past. The king is not dead but he has been deposed, voluntarily or not (I don’t care how), and both he and everyone else can move on.

If you had told me a decade ago that Bristol Rovers would be owned by a rich Jordanian family, I would probably have had mixed emotions. In an ideal world, a football club would have a significant stake in the ownership and a profound influence in its direction. Perhaps under Wael Al-Qadi this will happen. All the evidence so far suggests they “get it” and understand how Gasheads work. That is remarkable in itself given that only recently have they bought into our club metaphorically as well as literally. Yes, our club. I honestly feel that, regardless of who owns the bricks and mortar, this is once again our club. I feel welcome there, I feel wanted. And regardless of how the new ownership and governance works out, my days of involving myself in any aspect of what some describe as the “politics” are 100% over. No more forums, no more support or opposition groups, no shouting at Box Number One. For now and forever more, I will only be watching the football. No new enemies at Bristol Rovers for me.

“Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it. I just want you back for good,” said Gary Barlow. Actually, I probably did mean a lot of it, but never mind. I’m definitely back for good this time.