Shaming

Until this morning, I had never heard of Steve Allen (pictured above). But now I have. He’s a presenter on LBC, the talk radio phone-in station, although according to Wikipedia (so it must be true) Mr Allen is the only presenter who doesn’t actually take calls from people. Anyway, according to the comedian Jason Manford, Allen is “a bitter old prick” following what can only be described as fat-shaming comments at the Strictly contestant Tilly Ramsay. Now I’m not watching this season of Strictly, but I read that Ms Ramsay, who is the daughter of foul-mouthed TV chef Gordon Ramsay, was described by Allen as follows:

“Tilly Ramsay is on Celebrity MasterChef Australia, is she? Well she can’t blooming well dance, I’m bored with her already.

“She’s a chubby little thing, isn’t she?” he continues. “Have you noticed? Probably her dad’s cooking I should imagine.”

This is bad enough but it appears that Allen has previous. This is what his former colleague at LBC Cristo Foufas said:

“Steve Allen regularly spoke about how fat I was on air, even at the height of my eating disorder, every day. So this is of no surprise. I am fine about it all now, much stronger and all’s well. But well done Tilly Ramsay for speaking out.”

I am not quite as sylph-like as I used to be, although efforts are being made to address this situation once I am well enough mentally, and I know what it’s like. I suffered jibes from various people, including from a narcissist who sought to inflate his already Canada-sized ego by taking the piss out of me not long after my breakdown when I was bullied and abused by managers at the British Red Cross, and I have winced as others suffered the same unthinking treatment simply for having gained weight. I have never forgotten what it felt like and I haven’t forgiven the perpetrators either so fair play to Ms Ramsay for standing up to her 67 year old bully.

Other than through their own narcissism, why would anyone feel the need to shame others because of their appearance? Again, making it all about me, I was born a large maroon birthmark on my face, which resembled both a large keyhole and a map of Britain. I never even noticed it until I went to primary school when I became ‘Keyhole Kate’ and later ‘Mole’. Even as a pre teenager, I resolved to have the birthmark removed as soon as I could because of the endless comments about it and accepted that I would be left with a large scar on my face, laser removal having not yet been invented. That was far preferable. But children were taking the piss out of my appearance and it hurt, even though I rarely let on.

It’s no one’s business what Ms Ramsay looks like. She is who and what she is. I’m in the Manford camp that says Allen is “a bitter old prick” and should concentrate on talking to early morning listeners on LBC, always assuming he still has any after this. Doubtless, he will offer some sort of half-hearted apology, you know, the usual “I’m very sorry to have upset Tilly” but not sorry that he said she was “chubby”.

Part of me wishes that Gordon Ramsay would turn up at LBC and punch Allen’s lights out, but I hope he is able to rise above it too. Ms Ramsay says this:

“I try not to read and listen to comments and negativity however recently being called out on a national radio station by a 67-year-old man is a step too far.”

Amen to all that. It’s a salutary lesson for all of us to think a bit more before engaging brain and to be more kind. I’m trying, and occasionally failing, but even that’s more than Steve Allen is doing. Luckily for him, he’s perfect in every way.