Some great names in King Brian’s birthday honours list. David Beckham, Gary Oldman and Georgia Harrison to name but three. Not being an avid viewer of Love Island, a light entertainment TV show on which I understand Ms Harrison appears (disappointingly, she is not a relation of the late Beatle George), I am not entirely clear as to what she has done to deserve this honour, if that’s what her MBE is, but I suppose I should wish her good luck. I’d only come across as petty and jealous if I was to sound critical, both of which I am.
My 39 years of public service (or being paid to do my job) and many years of charity work (some of which I was paid to do), seemingly counts for nothing. Bitter? Moi? No chance.
Of course, I don’t deserve a gong for my public service or charity work. I chose to do both, no one made me. Now and again, someone said thank you, as they frequently do in my latest UNPAID!!! role at our food bank and, being serious for a moment, that’s enough. I do not feel the need to be thanked by King Brian and getting a medal for doing what I considered to be nothing special. Let’s save the gongs for those who deserve them, like contestants on Love Island or people who who are paid vast sums to present TV talent shows.
Many years ago, for a bit of a laugh, I nominated my best friend for an honour, on account of his many years of public service (see above) and his charity work, consisting of a single cycle ride which raised around £150. To our amazement, he was awarded an MBE and I accompanied him to Buckingham Palance where he met the Queen. Better still, old Dracula himself, Christopher Lee, was sitting right behind us. (I think he got a CBE for biting women in the neck, but I can’t be sure of that. Either way, I am sure he richly deserved it.)
Sir Becks was a fine footballer player and remains one of the best looking blokes in the land, bastard. Then, there’s ‘Sir’ Roger Daltrey for services to simultaneously raising money in his Teenage Cancer Trust and supporting a Brexit that severely damaged the opportunities for all young people, as well as fucking over his fellow musicians who have now lost huge parts of their income on account of the added costs of touring in Europe. Maybe, Rog got his gong because of the ‘Who’s Next’ album, his last meaningful bit of work, released in 1971? I’d hate to think he was rewarded for a bitter and twisted old gammon.
Better still, three darts players have been awarded gongs – Luke Littler, Luke Humphries and Deta Hedman – for services for throwing darts and, for the very first time a Rugby League player, the legendary Billy Boston, has been knighted. I’m astonished at the latter award since not only is Sir Billy a former League player, he is also black, both of which would normally exclude anyone from any honours list. Sadly, the great Kevin Sinfield, who has raised many millions in the fight against Motor Neurone Disease, has been yet again overlooked for a knighthood. Presumably, Brian didn’t want anyone to say you wait 130 years for one RL knighthood to come along and suddenly two come along at once. The chaps at the RFU would be livid.
I am pissing in the wind getting annoyed about all this. I know and know of so many people who have done truly great things in life for no reward then some here today, gone tomorrow reality TV star, or worse a politician, becomes a life peer, or something. And if Georgia Harrison gets an MBE for appearing in nine reality shows and no others, perhaps all my public service and charity work will pay off after all. I’m waiting to hear from you, Brian. Don’t let me down again.
So, the wait goes on. I’ll be anxiously waiting the next honours list to see if I am on it but not that anxiously, if I am being honest. Sir Bufton Tufton MP (Con) will get his award, Wayne Scrote, Melchester’s exciting number 10 shirt and reality TV star Susie Nickersoff will get theirs and I’ll still be bleating about how unfair and crap it is.
