Much to the chagrin, I’m sure, of every conspiracy theorist loon on the planet, today I visited my local health centre in order to have another one of Bill Gates’ microchips inserted into my arm. Apparently, although he has denied it on the grounds that it’s complete bollocks, Gates wants to insert a microchip into my body to track where I am going and what I am doing, presumably to sell me computers, or something. It’s on the internet, so it must be true.
My experience today was rather less interesting. I arrived nice and early, was shown to a young nurse who didn’t say, “Just a little prick”, and I got Covid-19 and Influenza vaccines in each arm. It took less than a minute and I was back in the gorgeous autumn sunshine.
I have my vaccines for a very simple reason. If possible, I would rather not die of Covid-19 and the flu, as many thousands of people do every year. To the best of my knowledge, I have had Covid-19 twice so far and September 2023’s bout was the worst of the two, lingering for four, maybe five, months by way of a seemingly endless cough that played hell with my asthma and appears to have made it permanently worse. I haven’t had the flu for years, thanks to the jab, but when I last had it, I was bed bound for a week, feeling like death. In fact, there were moments when death seemed a more pleasant alternative.
It is not that I understand all the science behind vaccines. I am not a medic, nor a scientist, but I am more inclined to believe medics and science than I would anti-vaxx types like Right Said Fred and any of the nutcases broadcasting on the hate TV channel GB News. In 2016, oily Tory cabinet member Michael Gove said, “people in this country have had enough of experts”. Not me, Mickey. Not me.
Anti-vaxxers are among the very worst of us. They are basically anti-science, anti-medicine. While vaccines come from science, the anti-vaxxers invent whacky evidence-free theories to try to convince frankly credulous fools to do what’s bad for them. In short, anti-vaxxers kill people, by convincing them to not have Covid vaccines, or even MMR vaccines. And anti-vaxxers are the same people as Trump’s MAGA fans, 9/11 conspiracists, David Icke’s Reptilian nonsense, the murder of John F Kennedy sceptics and every other piece of nonsense that gullible people believe in. Because sometimes a simple explanation can never be enough, even when it’s demonstrably true.
It’s oh so simple to me. Vaccines can and so save lives. They make things that could be very bad not so bad. Vaccines are the best options available to keep us alive and well. How hard can it be not to see that?
If Bill Gates is busy watching me now I have his silicone chip inside my body, he will be very bored indeed. He will have seen me walk back from the health centre, make a cup of tea (he will know it was Earl Grey), consume a bacon sarnie and watch the football on the telly. Christ alone knows what Bill will gain from that but if the conspiracy loons are right, I suppose I should be a worried man, although it’s not exactly clear why.
