Every year, without fail, social media and much of the mainstream media celebrates 4th May. “May the fourth be with you.” For years, I had absolutely no idea the expression was actually a reference to the Star Wars franchise, as in “May the force be with you” which, wikipedia tells me “the phrase used to wish an individual or group good luck or good will.” Yeah, whatever. I’ll stick with good luck because I have never seen Star Wars and have absolutely no desire to ever do so. I don’t even know what Star Wars is all about, but Wiki, again, has helped me out. Here goes:
‘The Star Wars franchise depicts the adventures of characters “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away” across multiple fictional eras, in which humans and many species of aliens (often humanoid) co-exist with droids, which may be programmed for personal assistance or battle. Space travel between planets is common due to lightspeed hyperspace technology. The planets range from wealthy, planet-wide cities to deserts scarcely populated by primitive tribes. Virtually any Earth biome, along with many fictional ones, has its counterpart as a Star Wars planet which, in most cases, teem with sentient and non-sentient alien life The franchise also makes use of other astronomical objects such as asteroid fields and nebulae. Spacecraft range from small starfighters to large capital ships, such as the Star Destroyers, as well as space stations such as the moon-sized Death Stars. Telecommunication includes two-way audio and audiovisual screens, holographic projections, and hyperspace transmission.’
For someone who can’t even keep track of a James Bond movie, this is a lot to take in. For someone who is not even vaguely interested in science fiction, apart from the Jon Pertwee years in Doctor Who (one of the teenagers, there), I will not even make the first effort to take it all in.
The blanket coverage afforded to the franchise means that I am familiar with the names of some of the characters. Luke Skywalker, Ob-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader are examples. I have no idea of their roles in the films, although I do know that the actor who played Darth Vader was Southmead’s own Dave Prowse, the Green Cross Code Man, albeit shorn of his strong Bristolian accent. But that’s as far as it goes. I probably know even less about Star Wars than I do about its fellow sci-fi adventure franchise Star Trek.
At least I tried to watch Star Trek, even if I quickly concluded that it was what we experts refer to as a load of old shite. Frankly, it was about as realistic as professional wrestling, except that I could not set aside my sense of disbelief as I used to be able to do when Hulk Hogan stepped into the ring, pretending he could wrestle (he couldn’t).
So, it’s May the fourth day today and what am I supposed to do? In my case, the answer is a big fat fuck all. May the fourth is a play on words, a type of joke, albeit a not particularly funny one, if you’ve already heard it once. But it is a time for celebration.
In my case, it is a time to celebrate that I have never wasted a moment of my life watching Star Wars. And frankly, I would rather shit on my hands and clap than watch it. Each to their own and all that, but is it too much to ask Star Wars fans – I’ll bet they have a special name for their group – to set up their own social media groups and chat among themselves rather than inflicting it on the rest of us?
Anyway, whether you like it or not, may the force be with you good luck.
