A classic non-story appears on the hate-filled pages of the Daily Mail (where else?). “Wokery,” it announces, “risks killing off the ancient tradition of kissing under the mistletoe at Christmas parties.” The far right propaganda TV station GB News quotes thoroughly modern Mosley, Nigel Farage, as attacking “woke Christmas crackers that don’t bang for the sake of the environment”. Then, The Sun, attacks “Woke university bosses (who) ban staff from saying ‘Christmas break’ over fears it will offend snowflake students” Where to begin?
I have been here before with the term ‘woke’, but it is useful to remind ourselves what is actually means. My dictionary says this: Woke: adjective. ‘Aware of and actively attentive to important societal facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)’. Call me woke, please. I’m proud, honoured even to be known as woke. I feel strongly that facts matter in our world, particularly on matters of race and social justice. What these hateful media outlets are really doing is engaging in yet more culture wars, trying to divide us, by using a decent positive word to mean something else. Effectively, it has replaced another vacuous term that actually means nothing at all: political correctness. Let’s break this bollocks down.
I am aware that there is, or rather was, a tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. I found this potted history on the BBC website. While I am aware of it, it has not played a big part in my life. I have enjoyed the odd – and not very odd – kiss under the mistletoe, more often than not a brief peck on the cheek. Unless you are in a relationship, or about to enter into one, a snog under the mistletoe might be seen as the prelude to adultery or even worse sexual harassment. But of course, that’s not how the Mail sees it.
In order to make its point, this twisted organ (the Mail, that is) speaks to “renowned auctioneer” Nick ‘Mr Mistletoe’ Champion (65, in case you were interested), who has been flogging mistletoe for 47 years. He is in mourning, by the looks of it, whingeing that sprigs are now rarely bought by young people. And it gets better: “Young people aren’t interested in kissing under the mistletoe any more and the older generation who used to cut it down and bundle it up are dying off and not being replaced. Workers used to kiss under the mistletoe at Christmas parties, but with all the wokery nowadays they would be accused of abuse.”
Following a deep sigh, I wonder to myself. What the fuck is he on about? Maybe back in some distance time and place, workers did kiss under the mistletoe, but then again, maybe not all of them wanted to be kissed under it. Certainly not, say, a young woman being grabbed by a boozy, cigar-chomping manager and believe me when I say that the offices of the not to distant past were all managed by middle aged men who wielded a great deal of power and influence. I suspect, the mistletoe is just another tradition that has naturally fizzled out and all but faded away. Mr Mistletoe might disagree but to hell with him.
Then Farage railing against Christmas crackers that don’t bang. This is desperate stuff. Some people have conditions where they don’t enjoy the sound of crackers being pulled. Some folk have timid pets. Many of us don’t see the point of crackers at all. If you want crackers that bang, buy the fucking things. If you don’t, then don’t. This is not an argument about wokery. It’s a confected debate as part of the right wing culture wars.
And as for The Sun. Well, I can find no on-line evidence to suggest that “UNIVERSITY staff have been asked not to say “Christmas break” “over fears it will offend snowflake students”, as the paper suggests. That’s UNIVERSITY, not university, by the way. It is quite possible someone at the university has referred to a “winter break” instead of Christmas, and ‘spring break” instead of “easter” but I can find no evidence of fears that snowflake students will be offended. That, I would submit, is because they don’t exist.
The Sun naturally asks the far right crackpot Toby Young, self-appointed leader of the laughably called ‘Free Speech Union’ (a bunch of snowflakes if you ask me), to comment. He says:“Newcastle University needs to be reminded that Britain is still a Christian country and we still celebrate Christian festivals. Does inclusion not apply to Christians?” No, Toby. We are not some kind of religious dictatorship, like Iran or Vatican City. Most of us don’t do any Gods at all. How about more inclusion for the majority of us who do not believe in a supernatural dictator? Nothing that happens in most of our lives at Christmas and easter has anything to do with religious festivals. It’s a nonsense to pretend otherwise. I’ll say one more thing about this Newcastle university tosh.
This has far more to do with the battle that is taking place between religions in terms of recruitment. Many Christians fear the incursions Islam is making into their numbers. That’s really what Young is on about. He thinks other Gods are getting preferential treatment. Maybe they are, so the obvious thing to do is for the country to become more secular and to stop automatically respecting anyone who calls themselves a man of God from any religion.
It’s the accusations of wokery that do my head in. I repeat: being woke is undoubtedly A Good Thing. Why, unless you are a hateful right wing racist bigot would you not want to be woke? So, let’s not pretend that the things described by the preachers of hate are actually woke at all. They’re either lies, bollocks or both.
The fact that I have again addressed this issue goes to show the self-styled anti-woke brigade are having some success in getting their perverted narrative across, aided and abetted by the very worst media outlets. In truth, it’s just the establishment trying to divide us all and make us weaker, to distract us from the real issues that matter to ordinary people.
If you have the Daily Mail, GB News, The Sun and Toby Young all lined up against you, there’s a fair chance you are on the right side. Don’t believe a word they say. They hate you. They always will.
