If anything serves to remind me that I am growing old and out of touch with the modern world, it is usually the National Television Awards (NTA), held last night at the O2 in London. Not that I watched it, so I have to go the NTA website to find out who won and when I get there, my reaction is always the same: “I’m glad I didn’t watch that.” And so it was last night.
ITV’s coverage – and there are few more off-putting words than ‘ITV’s coverage’ – was hosted by Joel Dommett, a name with which I am vaguely familiar, but his wiki page quickly confirms I have never seen him in anything and, until now, had no idea what he looked like. No matter. That’s my problem, not his. Anyway, let me open the envelopes and announce the winners:
- New Drama
- Mr Bates vs The Post Office
- Quiz Game Show
- The 1% Club
- Authored Documentary
- Kate Garraway: Derek’s Story
- Returning Drama
- Bridgerton
- TV Presenter
- Ant & Dec
- Factual Entertainment
- Sort Your Life Out
- Drama Performance
- Toby Jones
- The Bruce Forsyth Entertainment Award
- I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!
- Serial Drama
- Emmerdale
- Expert
- David Attenborough
- Serial Drama Performance
- Peter Ash
- Reality Competition
- The Traitors
- Daytime
- The Chase
- Comedy
- Mrs Brown’s Boys
- Talent Show
- Strictly Come Dancing
- Impact Award
- Mr Bates vs The Post Office
Taking it from the top, middle and bottom, it would be hard, nay impossible, to disagree with the success of Mr Bates vs The Post Office and particular Toby Jones’s role as Sir Alan Bates, the former subpostmaster who led the campaign for the victims of the Post Office scandal. It was arguably one of the most impactful programmes of all time because, scandalously, until it was first broadcast, only the BBC and Private Eye showed any interest in it. Once Mr Bates vs The Post Office was first broadcast on ITV – I know, ITV – everything changed. For once in our country, the little guy fought back against the rich and powerful, essentially the establishment. A wrong was righted, albeit too late. The victims included 250 now dead who cannot be compensated , four ‘suicides’ and a pregnant mum behind bars. TV, often responsible for little more than fluff (see what follows), changed everything for the victims.
I didn’t see Kate Garraway’s show, Derek’s Story, about her husband Derek Draper who died of complications from Covid, but I am told that it was brilliant. Now I get into, what is for me, the murk.
The top quiz show was The 1% Club, a show I have never heard of and the top presenter was two presenters, Ant and Dec. I am obviously familiar with the two cheeky Geordies and have no doubt that they are brilliant at what they do. I read that they host Britain’s Got Talent, I’m A Celebrity and Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway, attracting vast audiences. I have only seen short clips of the first two and have never seen the latter so I shall have to take the word of The Great British Public who clearly adore Messrs McPartlin and Donnelly.
Period dramas are not my bag so I am unable to comment on Bridgerton and I have never heard of Sort Your Life Out. But I have heard of Emmerdale, or Emmerdale Farm as I knew it and deep shame that I had no idea the Farm bit had been axed (1989, apparently. See what I mean about being out of touch?). I did watch the show in the 1970s and fondly remember characters like Alan Turner, Joe Sugden (Jamie from Doctor Who), Annie Sugden, Amos Brearly, Seth Armstrong and Henry Wilks. As I recall, and it was a very long time ago, it was a light-hearted story of farming folk who spent most of their leisure time in the pub, The Woolpack, which could be what attracted it to me in the first place. I am assuming these characters, and possibly the actors who played them, have long shuffled off to that great farmyard in the sky. However, its longevity and enduring popularity has to be admired.
David Attenborough’s award as best ‘expert’ was well deserved – apparently he won by a close head from former football pundit Jermaine Jenas, although I may have made that up – and despite its recent ‘issues’ Strictly Come dancing remains an essential fixture during the long winter nights, which given our heating came on this morning, have arrived already, and long may it continue.
I don’t know who or what Peter Ash is, nor have I watched Traitors and despite my admiration for Bradley Walsh I have no interest in The Chase. Which leads me to Mrs Brown’s Boys.
When it first came out, in 2011, I did give Mrs Brown’s Boys a chance. What I quickly discovered was the least funny comedy show of all time. The joke, such as it is, has Mrs Brown being played by a bloke called Brendan O’Carroll. I sat stone-faced through the shows I saw, unable to find anything remotely funny. I have always felt the same way about the late alleged comedian Victoria Wood, but in the same way I found her unfunny, everyone else saw the opposite. Clearly Mrs Brown’s Boys is hugely popular around Britain, yet everyone I know thinks it’s terrible. As someone said on twitter: “Mrs Brown’s Boys is the biggest pile of wank ever to be classed as comedy.” Hear, hear, I say. But then again, it was up against Brassic, The Gentlemen, Ghosts, and Not Going Out, more shows I have either never seen or heard of. Were they even worse than Mrs Brown’s Boys? Is that possible?
In truth, I have no right to be critical of modern day TV. I am the atheist who still watches ancient episodes of Highway To Heaven, the ghost non-believer who still watches Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) and I loved the brilliant Lucifer, played by the depressingly handsome Tom Ellis, who was of course that great fictional character, The Devil.
In the same way that there is no such thing as bad music (no Queen ‘jokes’ today – ed), there is no such thing as bad TV. Just because I think Mrs Brown’s Boys is the worst supposed comedy show of my lifetime – actually, the worst show is just as accurate – if you love it, then it’s the best. Good for you.
What I do need to bear in mind is that time is running out. Do I really need to spend all my daylight and nighttime hours watching TV? As I become increasingly infirm and doolally, there is a chance I may have plenty of time to do that in old age. I have visited enough care homes to realise that This Morning, A Place in The Sun and Bargain Hunt are, for residents, the highlight of the day, even if they don’t really know what’s going on.
I’ll say in conclusion that I’m quite happy to be out of touch with modern TV is the NTAs are anything to go by. There is so much music to listen to, books to read and places to visit and it’s probably sensible to do these things when I still can.
Time, waits for no one. Mrs Brown’s Boys can wait until I’m at the verge of shuffling off my mortal coil. Or maybe even after I have.
