“Let’s have a quiet night in,” I said to my partner, channeling my inner David Soul, as I scrambled through the TV channels in search of something decent to watch on the box. “I wonder if there is any football on?” And there was. Loads of it.
We quickly concluded that we would watch Liverpool v Bayer 04 Leverkusen on TNT because of course my partner and I are both Liverpudlians. Well almost. I’ve been to Liverpool a few times, although only once to Anfield (and even that was to cheer on their opponents that night, Bristol Rovers) and my partner many times to cheer on her beloved Reds. Not glory hunters, us. Loyal supporters via Sky, TNT, Match of the Day and last night Amazon Prime. But look at what we could have had?
There were eight more Champions League games on, but none appealed, at least they didn’t until Manchester City were trailing in Lisbon. Neither did the six EFL Championship games being broadcast on Sky, nor the two League One games nor, indeed, the five televised games in the Bristol Street Motors Trophy. So, in total, we could have watched any one of 22 games. Which I find utterly amazing. But I suppose I shouldn’t, really.
Sky is showing 1059 games from the EFL this season including 328 Championship matches, 248 each from Leagues One and Two, all 15 play off games, All 93 Carabao Cup matches and – I am not making this up – all 127 matches from the EFL Trophy. If that’s not enough, they also have 128 Premier League games. This is just a personal thing, but that is definitely enough games. Yet, there’s more.
TNT has 52 Premier League games, plus 529 European games. And if you look elsewhere, there are international matches and matches from all the top leagues in Europe. Oh, and the National League in England. Then there’s Scotland and even Norn Iron. Literally thousands of games. Oh and Amazon Prime has 17 ‘first pick’ European games. Hands up if you think that’s just too many …
I concluded long ago that I was watching far too much football on telly. In fact, I was watching too much anything on telly. Here is my life, quickly ticking away, and if I really really want to, I can spend every waking, and maybe the odd sleeping, hour watching football. No need to meet up with family and friends, no need to go on holiday, go to the pub, read books, play music. No. I can enjoy ‘exclusively live’ coverage of Burton 0 Crawley 0. What could be more fun? (What do you mean, anything?)
I used to watch Match of the Day religiously back in the day, but now I scarcely bother. I used to watch Sky’s Super Sunday every week but now I only watch when my home town team – ahem, Liverpool – are playing. When Dave Jones is getting over-excited as he introduces The Big Clash between Brentford and Bournemouth, I am more likely to doing anything I can possibly think of. I thought I would watch more TV football now that Sky has finally axed the dreadful Martin Tyler, but it’s now far, far less.
Last night’s game was on Prime and, surprisingly, I felt the coverage was tip-top. The TV pictures were excellent but it was the commentary and punditry that grabbed me by the short and curlies. The excellent Jon Champion was on comms duty, alongside Alan Shearer, who unlike virtually any other co-commentator can add to the picture by passing on technical and tactical detail, unlike your Steve McManamans who just say “That was a good shot” and “Yeah”. The BBC’s Gabby Logan hosted the show and the studio and pitchside experts were Luis Garcia, Frank Lampard and the magnificent Clarence Seedorf, so much better than Crouchy and Joe Cole.
Tonight, we have just the five Championship matches, nine more Champions League matches, one Europa League match ‘JOIN US ON TNT FOR BESIKTAS AND MALMÖ FF! Er, no thanks. Finally, there’s The Big One in the Bristol Street Motors Trophy where Blackpool entertain Liverpool Under 21s. I literally can wait.
Someone must be watching quite a lot of football. These TV companies are not charities, showing games out of the kindness of their hearts. But it’s not me. Maybe a large part of the audience is real fans who can’t be arsed to go to a game on a chilly, damp November evening and watch it on the box instead? Frankly, why would you even bother? If you have paid your subscriptions costs, you’d be quite mad to drive to a home game, never mind halfway up the country for a game, even if was in the prestigious Bristol Street Motors Trophy. I’d be more tempted to visit Bristol Street Motors and buy a motor.
I keep thinking the amount of TV football is well beyond overkill. Live football is an expensive and largely unrewarding activity. On the telly it will probably still be unrewarding, but at least it will be cheaper. And warmer. And you will get an action replay if you miss a goal whilst visiting the little boys’ room, which happens more and more at my age.
Having grown up in a time when televised football was something that happened for the final of the FA Cup, I find the modern day schedules bewildering. There’s too much on so I end up watching next to none of it.
So, it’s another quiet night in tonight, apart from the football. What time does Feyenoord v FC Red Bull Salzburg kick off again? Feyenoord are also my team. And there’s Barcelona … they’re at Crvena Zvezda …
