I can now reveal that I have played 250 rounds on the Par 3 at Thornbury Golf Club. 250. And that’s only since 25 May 2012.
Add to that 20-odd rounds at Woodlands Golf Club, a fair number on the main course at Thornbury and a humiliating round of 132 at the Kendleshire and that’s a lot of golf.
I cannot agree with the old adage that golf represents a good walk spoiled because I can assure you I would not be walking the Thornbury Par 3 without a set of clubs!
I don’t get bored with the course either. I should know each hole like the back of my hand, how the greens go and all the rest of it, but I don’t. And still I never quite know what’s going to happen when I hit the ball. I just have a better idea than I did two years ago.
You do need lessons to get better and I have had a few from a guy called Sam Hughes at Saltford Golf Club. Sam insists there is no such thing as talent and you only have to look at me to know that is true. No one is born a genius is the reasoning and generally I agree with that. Some people are naturally better at things than others but generally it really is practice that makes perfect, even though I am nowhere near perfect.
In this 250 rounds, I have had two holes in one, on holes 15 and 18. This might sound impressive on the face of it but every shot aimed at the green is aimed at the hole. So two out of god knows how many thousand shots is really nothing to write home about.
My best score is 57, just three over par, my worst 130 when I had an attack of the shanks. I average just over 71 which is okay. Sad to say that every single round is saved on a spread sheet.
In a way, I wish I had started when I was younger but I can’t regret it too much because there were other things going on, some good.
But it is an obsession now.
It’s my exercise too. The Par 3 course is between 3.5 and 4 miles long, depending on how straight I am hitting the ball. Today, it was millionaire’s golf and no one else was there, so I was walking 22 minute miles – not bad when you are hitting a ball 62 times along the way.
Yes, 62. 60 bloody 2. And what’s more it was 55 after the 17th hole.
I got to the tee, around 144 yards today – nothing for the proper golfer, which I am not – and I had a choice: smash it onto the green or play a gentle iron, maybe short, to get that three or four that would give me my third sub-60 round. So what did I do? I smashed it. My head and back came up and I shanked the ball wildly to the right and lost the sodding thing. I played a third off the tee and it went arrow straight but 20 yards past the green. It was going tits up. A lovely round was going wrong. And I finished with a bleeding seven. Aargh.
Still, there’s always tomorrow. If I can (of course I can), I’ll be there for round 251 and give it my best shots all over again.
It might be a good walk spoiled but not if I break 60.
