As a woke, politically correct snowflake, I am often asked, “Why don’t you celebrate St George’s Day?” The simple answer to this is that I would be very happy to celebrate England’s special day in the same way as our friends around the British isles celebrate their own special days. The only reason I don’t is because here in England we don’t take St George’s Day very seriously. I don’t know why that is.
The Scots, Irish and Welsh don’t exactly hide their national identities, do they, yet we English do seem to be a little embarrassed about celebrating ours. Is it because many people don’t wish to be associated with the flag of St George because for years it was hijacked by the political right and now flag-shagging is a prerequisite of Boris Johnson’s government? Or is it because we haven’t really thought about how we should celebrate our patron saint who, lest we forget, was born in Turkey, died in Palestine and probably didn’t really exist?
You don’t need me to tell you all the things us English folk should be proud of, but it is fair to point out that we gave the world plenty, not least the worldwide web, without which this blog wouldn’t exist. You can blame Tim Berners-Lee for Eclectic Blue. We’ve invented loads of things which have made the world a better place. Real ale, football, the Beatles – I mean, all the important stuff.
In my ideal world, today would be 100% English. I’d have a full English breakfast with some English tea. A little Morris Dancing before lunch, before heading off to the pub for some warm English beer and in the afternoon I’d head to a quaint English village for afternoon tea, before returning home for a roast dinner, washed down by copious amounts of warm beer and then joining in a party in the village to celebrate all things English. And I’d end the day, just before midnight, with a passionate rendition of Jerusalem. Oh, wouldn’t it be nice?
I will do some of these things anyway but not in an organised fashion. Most people, I suggest, will let the day pass just like any other. But there’s not a lot us little people can do to change things. People with power and influence. can do that. People like politicians and celebrities. Therein lies another problem: politicians.
Our so-called leaders, the likes of Boris Johnson and the cynical quarterwits who inhabit his cabinet, don’t do anything without the intention of making political capital. For Johnson, the ultimate flag-shagger, everything is an opportunity. I don’t quite know how we get around the conundrum of politicians being both the solution and the problem of properly celebrating our day, but there must be a way?
The first thing to decide on is that St George’s Day should be an English bank holiday, held on the actual day it falls, with a bank holiday before or after if, like today, it falls on a weekend. For business, it would be a boon, especially in the midst of the cost of living crisis and for the rest of us a time to have a little fun celebrating who and what we are. Maybe we could appoint some non party political national committee to plan the celebration in very broad terms? If I can come up with something vaguely coherent about what we could do, imagine what someone with more than half a brain might manage?
This year, as with every year, St George’s Day will slip by with barely a whimper. In a deeply divided and broken country, wouldn’t some unity be welcome? After all, disunity hasn’t worked too well so far, has it?
