Can you imagine being Michael Gove’s son? Having to listen to that smug, self-satisfied sneering voice every day of your life and growing up to find out that your dad is one of the most justifiably disliked people in the land? And then that your mother, Sarah Vine, is the journalistic equivalent of one of those nutters who write poison pen letters in bright green ink. You’d probably be grateful if they left you in a hotel whilst they partied the night away. And that, according to the papers, is exactly what they did.
The story goes that Gove’s son, who is all of 11 years of age, was found at 1.30 am, walking the corridors of a Cheltenham hotel, wondering where his parents were. Happily, young Gove was found by a night porter so all was well, but what is it with people like this?
Remember when multimillionaire David Cameron left one of his children in a pub following a liquid lunch? It was all “Ha ha ha – what a laugh!” when the story came to light and then, who can forget the reckless irresponsibility of the McCanns who decided it would be all fine and dandy to leave their children alone in a luxurious Portuguese apartment whilst enjoying tapas with their fellow upper class holiday makers. For the McCanns, the self-inflicted consequences were catastrophic. Their daughter Madeleine disappeared and was never seen again. Of course, I feel sorry for them – who wouldn’t? – but everyone knows, especially Kate and Gerry, that their daughter’s disappearance occurred as a direct result of their foolish actions.
Gove was luckier, the only bad luck they suffered was that the story got out, but let’s hang on. Why is it okay to leave an 11 year old child alone in a strange place? It isn’t. I am wondering if this is a class thing.
Allow me to restate my own childhood circumstances. I was brought up by a lone parent, my mother, who had to work, there being no benefits, working or otherwise, and no family allowance (later child benefit). So, after taking me to school, she arranged at a deadly cost, for my grandparents to take me home before my mother collected me to go home. This happened until I was able to travel to senior school safely on my own. I cannot recall a single occasion where my mum left me alone. She never went out for social evenings because, being Dutch, a stranger herself in a strange land, she didn’t know anyone to go out with. I don’t think she’d have gone out anyway, even if she could have employed a babysitter, so dedicated was she to ensuring my safety, which always came first. I went out to play in the streets and at the local parks, but I never came home to an empty house. We were very poor but being poor never took away my mother’s pride, nor her ability to bring me up safely and with security. There was no danger of me being left in a hotel because I never stayed in one until I was in my twenties.
And there’s the difference. When we hear a story about a disappeared or neglected child, it is always about Tracey Scrote from the Scrote estate in Scrote Town. She will be a lone parent too, living in a squalid, damp flat, just about existing, not really living. And in will march an army of social workers and know-it-all journalists will pontificate on this dreadful woman who is not fit to be a mother. The child will be taken into care and we will all “tut tut”. Meanwhile, the rich untouchables like Gove and Vine will barely receive a word of criticism. One rule for the rich and privileged and another for everyone else.
There are few clear rules about parenting and there needs to be balance in everything. You do not need to cosset your children to they never go out and experience the world as it is, but by the same token you weigh-up and assess the risks on the basis of how you have brought them up. There are risks in almost every aspect of life and sometimes you have to let go, but not when children are young.
Michael Gove will not have social services breathing down his neck or face prosecution for neglect. This doesn’t happen to the affluent middle and upper classes who can rely on the system, the establishment, to watch their backs. He’ll recover from his partying and carry on with his millionaire lifestyle. But woe betide anyone from the lower orders, as Gove doubtless regards them, who does anything similar.
