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The first team’s abysmal start to the season continued when they made the long trip to Mendip.
However with the 3rd team without a game, the 1st XI could take full advantage of a large selection of subs.
So opted to take Supremo Martin and ex 3rd team outcast Marc Bowers.
After going a goal down early, things only got worse when the opposition number 9 hit a daisy cutter which bobbled over young Semple’s hands and into the back of the net.
Martin didn’t have much to say other than ‘Moat would have saved it… well probably not.’
With a fair share of the possession the Gifford typically failed to make anything of it and soon found themselves 3-0 down. As the second half dragged on, Mendip found another two goals to extend the lead to 5-0.
Harry Black did manage to find the back of the net but unfortunately it was judged to be offside, leaving H without anything the crow about in the Venus bar later that evening.
The game seemingly went a bit drab until the last 5 minutes when ‘loudmouth gobshite’ Dennis Cox was determined to inject life back into the game by repetitively giving the ball away on the edge of the Gifford box. Mendip however failed to make anything of it and the game finished 5-0.
Man of the match: M Bowers
The stiffs managed to register their first official win of the season v Kellaway Rangers.
Despite only narrowly winning and conceding 3 goals they were labeled ‘the worst team I have ever seen’ by captain I Semple.
After being axed from the first team, portly net minder Raoul Moat took a much needed holiday and was absent for the game. He was then told not to worry about rushing back too soon. Unfortunately Harry Szur had also gone AWOL and was unavailable for selection. This forced Supremo ‘chef’ Whalen to step between the sticks.
Things looked bleak defensively as superstar centre half James ‘I’m not a Turk’ Densley was unavailable due to work and bone idle, alcoholic student Dirty Nige was absent, shamefully going to watch egg chasing in Cardiff and prepping for a night on the lash with the equally alcoholic Fraser ‘Dave Struggler’ Moron. Fraser had made the long trip from Plymouth to take a break from the student life and to watch what he’s been missing in the village since departing for university last year.
The Gifford got off to a flying start going 3-0 up with goals from Lewis Venables, Aaron Jones and Ian Semple. With young superstar Airsy pulling all the strings in midfield, it looked as though it was going to be a stroll for the Gifford. However after a display of dismal defending they almost surrendered the lead when Kellaway brought it back to 3-2. Any hopes of a come back were destroyed when young Chopper Moron put the ball into the back of the net in front of his spectating brother. Straight from the kick off the opposition striker hit a hopeful shot from the half way line which Whalen failed to catch and put the ball into his own net. Luckily Kellaway couldn’t capitalise on the momentum and the game finished 4-3.
Man of the match: Neil Whalen
Michael Airs is 59
