Bristol is frequently ridiculed, usually by other Bristolians, for not having its own arena. Successive mayors have promised they’d get one built but we are still waiting. A city as big as this needs an arena for Premier League acts, is the justifiable complaint and until November of this year when the Bristol Beacon/Colston Hall reopens, we don’t even have a sizeable hall for Championship and League One performers to play at. The ideal location, of course, would be to build the thing in the centre of Bristol, but being Bristol we’re getting an old aircraft hangar on the outskirts of the city instead. One day. What are we missing? A quick look at Birmingham’s two arenas reminds us:
- Chris Brown
- Peter Kay
- Elton John
- Snoop Dogg
- Sam Smith
- Olly Murs
- Michael Bublé
- Kiss
- Louis Tomlinson
- Donny Fucking Osmond
- Tom Grennan
- Roger Waters
Unless the first named act is the author of the excellent Bovver, I wouldn’t cross the road to see any of them. But then, that’s me, someone whose musical tastes rarely extend into the world of pop superstars. I realise that for many folk the opportunity to see Kiss’s greatest hits – presumably in a set comprising of one song – is the chance of a lifetime. Soon, at a hangar near me, you will have that chance and for a few hundred quid you can park across my drive and walk to the gig from mine.
In any event, there’s a conspiracy going on. Elderly popsters Rod Stewart and The Who have both been billed as appearing in Bristol this year, something that will probably come as a complete surprise to the citizens of Badminton, some 18 miles away from Bristol where they are actually playing. It’s almost as if the powers that be are pretending the big stars are coming to Bristol when in fact they aren’t.
We do get some outdoor gigs in Bristol, but then again so do other big cities and towns. I suppose we should thank the good lord that the Arctic Monkeys are playing a certain football stadium south of the river and that 80s and 80s popular beat combo outfit James are headlining Bristol Sounds at the Canons Marsh Amphitheatre in June, but there’s no Donny Fucking Osmond or Sam Smith, is there? Actually, end that last sentence with ‘thank God’, but again that’s just me.
Is it embarrassing that we don’t have an arena, yet? If you’re easily embarrassed about not having an arena, then yes, it is embarrassing. However, if you think it’s pathetic that a city of this size, which is to say a fucking big size, doesn’t have anywhere to house Strictly Live, The X Factor Live and WWE live, then I’m probably with you.
I think it will be when we get the Filton arena and not if. But good luck in getting there. Today, the traffic is horrendous and that’s not just during peak time or because there has been an accident. And it’s before the enormous housing developments at the former airfield and the Behemoth development at Harry Stoke are completed. You will probably have to drive to get to the arena unless First Bus can somehow operate extra buses through the gridlock or Network Rail develop the old freight line to Filton and build new stations, which will only be any use to you if you live near Temple Meads and Parkway Station. No bugger has thought this through, have they? As ever with our fair city, it’s life in the bus lane.
Unless I completely lose my mind and develop a perverse desire to see Louis Tomlinson live (I have no idea who he is) or Tom Grennan (I have no idea who he is, either), then I’ll get the bus into town to see the League Two and National League acts at the small halls. Far more fun and much, much cheaper. And near to a lot of good boozers, unlike the Filton arena which won’t be near any.
