Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. What is regarded as good music, I have concluded, reluctantly, is in the ear of the beholder. How then to regard last night’s Rugby Union World Cup game between South Africa and England? There are no shades of grey in the media, where England’s late defeat is uniformly described as “heartbreaking”. The Guardian’s Andy Bull’s column is headlined “Tenacious, cunning and courageous”, which appears to capture the national mood. But it’s not my mood. I thought it was a bit shit.
I have watched a few games in this World Cup and all it has done is to reaffirm my view that the sport is a dire spectacle. Last night’s game was, to my mind, a case in point. England coach Steve Borthwick had clearly done his homework and his charges kicked, tackled, pushed and smothered their way through 80 punishing minutes against the current world champions. As the game neared its conclusion, it felt as if England were going to win, on the basis of having kicked four penalties and a drop goal, until they lost as a result of an incomprehensible refereeing decision – one of many, which was never properly explained by some of the worst TV pundits in the history of sport – and that was it.
The term “running rugby” doesn’t appear to exist in so-called elite rugby union. The backs in both teams were little more than tacklers and most of them, particularly the English backs, were as big as the forwards. Quite where the notion of union being a game for people of all sizes has gone, who knows? For this was the land of the giants and all the worse for it.
Being English – well, I was born in England, even if my DNA is only 17% English – I wanted England to win, as I do in most sports. It would have been nice to see the odd weaving run from someone from time to time, but this is the modern world, at least in rugby union, and apparently winning is all that matters. As England ground their way to an inevitable victory, I would have probably have settled for a boring win. But they didn’t win. What was more interesting, to me, was my reaction. None of the “I’m devastated” stuff going on. I felt literally nothing; more an “Oh well”.
There’s other stuff that bugs me about the sport. The preponderance of elite private schoolboys, the posh boy crowd singing a slaver song (“Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”), the idiotic cheerleading punditry by dinosaurs like ‘Sir’ Clive Woodward, Jonny Wilkinson and all round dullard Big Lol Dallaglio and the simple fact that the most important person on the pitch is the referee, whose influence on the outcome is way more significant than it should be.
If endless collisions, set pieces and constant kicking is your bag, then last night’s game, and probably all the others in this tournament, must be sporting heaven and good luck to you if it is. However, I cannot see how it will in any way reverse the decline in participation levels across England or indeed ease the financial crisis in so-called elite professional rugby union where three top clubs have gone bust in the last year alone.
The best rugby match I have seen this year, by some clear distance, was the NRL Grand Final a few weeks ago when Penrith Panthers beat Brisbane Broncos in Sydney. A truly great encounter between the two outstanding rugby league teams in Australia. Yes, there were plenty of collisions and some kicking for position, but there were also breathtaking, mazy runs by the players on both sides, creating brilliant tries. I had no dog in the fight, but unlike last night’s sledgehammer rugby I could not take my eye off the game.
My interest in the World Cup, limited though it was, is now virtually non existent. I have no interest in either New Zealand or South Africa in the final and even less in the farcical third place game between England and Argentina, in which the coaches will likely field the players they didn’t consider good enough for the actual meaningful games earlier on. Good luck with that one. I think it’s hair wash night for me.
I do like the odd rugby union game – hell, I’ve even paid to go to a few – and I’ll rarely turn down a freebie but I find it a very hard watch. It’s probably great for the purist but for your average Joe this world cup will be distant history before the final even takes place.
