It was shocking to read and hear about the murder of the wife and daughters of BBC Radio commentator John Hunt. How could anyone carry out such vicious attacks on innocent women is well beyond my level of understanding, but doubtless we will soon learn that the murderer is suffering from severe mental health issues. What has been seriously upsetting for some people, who have themselves, seen their lives and families wrecked by murderers is to read apparently kindly things about the killer,
The media has quoted by unnamed, of course, sources who have said that the alleged murderer in this case is a “nice guy” and “normal person”. You’ve read it before. They, the media, always say this. No matter how horrific the story, the killer was a saint, a kind and gentle soul who went to church every Sunday and helped old ladies across the road.
In many instances, the surprise murderer was a control freak, a cynical, manipulative wrong ‘un. But apart from the victims, all we get to hear how out of character this was. I know what this is like.
34 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship, at the wrong end of the abuse, I hasten to add. My former partner had an unfortunate tendency to beat the shit out of me. But when I told people about it, it was all, “Oh, she was so nice when I met her” and “such a lovely person”. Oddly enough, it didn’t feel like she was all that nice and lovely when she attacked me with the buckle of a thick black leather belt, but to hear that others saw her as some sort of angel – and that is exactly what it felt like – was heartbreaking and soul-destroying for me.
Similarly, when I heard people talking lovingly about the British Red Cross. “They do so much good,” they said. Well, actually they don’t do much good if you make the effort to see what they actually do with the vast sums of money people they shower them with. It’s not much, actually, other than handing over some blankets and bottles of water to people in crisis. They have vast numbers of managers who trouser over £50,000 a year, well into double figures of managers who ‘earn’ over £100,000. Oh and in Bristol, at least, they’re a bunch of bullies and abusers. Bad, bad people. And when people said nice things about it, I felt sick. I still do.
Clearly, someone who commits mass murder is not a “nice guy” and “normal person”. He, whoever ‘he’ is because at the moment everyone is innocent, is in no sense nice nor normal. And it insults all his victims, none of whom can talk back, because this nice, normal person killed them.
Abusers always paint a “normal’ image to the world. That’s often how they get away with it. Don’t let them, don’t fall for this nice, normal bullshit. Think of the victims, for once. We often forget about them, don’t we?
Note. Photos were available but I’ve chosen not to use them.
