Can I just start today’s offering with a moan? Oh, how unusual, you are probably saying. A full-on, whinging, whining moan, just for a change. But how could you do anything else except moan about the biannual farce of changing the clocks?
It would be easy enough to cut and paste the history of daylight saving, but to save me the trouble, I’ll let you do it instead. Suffice to say that, according to the Telegraph, it was introduced in order to “reduce domestic coal consumption and increase the supplies available for manufacturing and the war effort during the First World War.” I completely get that and I’d be in favour of it carrying on if it was 1916 when the bloody thing was brought in, but it isn’t 1916. In case you needed reminding, it’s 2016, we produce virtually no coal and the First World War ended nearly 99 years ago.
One argument I hear is that the Scots don’t like the idea of going to work in the pitch dark, especially farmers, so I have the ideal solution. Given the devolution of powers, allow the Scottish government to use their own time, with Northern Ireland and Wales being given the same option. But in England, I would urge a bigger change altogether. Here comes the revolution.
As prime minister, I shall introduce summer time in the winter and double summer time for the summer. In other words, the clocks will be permanently an hour later than they are now. This will mean lighter evenings in winter and lighter evenings in summer. Imagine those occasional summer days when it’s light and warm until 10.00 pm turning into days when it’s light and warm until 11.00 pm? I cannot imagine a single argument against it.
Putting the clocks back will have an obvious immediate effect. It will be lighter, earlier for a few weeks but it will start getting dark by 4.30 pm. By the time the seven hour daylight is with us, we’ll be living in freezing cold dark misery. Unless you adore the winter and regard the accompanying darkness as a bonus, daylight saving creates nothing but misery. A combination of impending old age and the physical changes that often afflict old age have rather changed my attitude to the changing seasons. The last thing I want to turn into is a pathetic, angry and bitter pensioner whose entire raison d’être is to complain about things that don’t matter, like the weather and what was on TV last night!
Polls suggest the majority of people feel much like I do about the pointless changing of the clocks so can we at the very least have an experiment, lasting a few years (how about five?), just to see how or if it works?
Governments do enough things I don’t like, so how about, just for once, do something I do like?