For those of us who do not believe that COVID-19 is a hoax, that it’s no worse than influenza, that it will soon miraculously disappear and that it is treatable, these can be trying times. Since the virus arrived in the UK, I have not fretted too much, nor lost sleep. That’s all changed now. It could be that I felt relief when Boris Johnson told us it was all over and chancellor Sunak pissed away half a billion quid’s worth of taxpayers’ money subsidising our meals in pubs and restaurants across the land. But barely six weeks later and we find, to our astonishment (well, not really) that the virus never went away at all and thousands more of us are going to die. This time, I wonder if it’s me Boris Johnson is trying to kill.

I spent some time reading the government’s new tiers, which range from medium risk, high risk to oh fucking hell we’re all going to die. In my case, this could be next week.

You see, I have been put in the ‘Vulnerable’ category. This is how I qualify:

  • I am instructed to have a flu jab each year
  • I have chronic asthma

According to my dictionary, vulnerable means: ‘in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.’ I assumed this would lead to me being locked up in a safe space for the foreseeable, but it doesn’t. Here’s another part of the tier three rules:

  • To help contain the virus, office workers who can work effectively from home should do so over the winter. Where an employer, in consultation with their employee, judges an employee can carry out their normal duties from home they should do so.

I still work so I should be working from home, but my job can’t be done from home. So, what are the rules when you can’t work from home? Let’s have a look:

  • Anyone else who cannot work from home should go to their place of work.

    The risk of transmission can be substantially reduced if COVID-secure guidelines are followed closely. Extra consideration should be given to those people at higher risk.

    Those classed as clinically extremely vulnerable can go to work as long as the workplace is COVID secure, but should carry on working from home wherever possible.

    For more information, follow the guidance on how to return to work safely.

    People living inside and outside of the very high alert level area can continue to travel in and out of the areas for work.

    There is no limit to the group size when you are meeting or gathering for work purposes, but workplaces should be set up to meet the COVID-secure guidelines.

So, if you can’t work from home to stop yourself dying, guess what? You can *checks notes* go to my place of work as long as it’s COVID-secure. That was a big relief, I can tell you. But then I thought this: if employers can be COVID-secure, then why can’t the government make everything else COVID-secure? I know. It’s because they fucking can’t. It’s words. Words that might not be true.

Basically, you must work from home because it’s safer, but if you can’t work from home, then go to work and take your chances and perhaps die. I feel so much better knowing that.

It’s not just me. There are millions in this position. It’s probably my lame brain at work, but I can’t help thinking if Boris Johnson doesn’t actually want me dead, then he doesn’t really give a toss if I end up dead. And it’s not him that wakes up at 4.00am, wondering if I am being sent out into this wide world with nothing more than a cheap face mask to keep me safe, or not safe if everyone else isn’t wearing one.

COVID-19 kills. It kills you physically, it can kill you mentally. If you are really unlucky, the physical and mental aspects might join together and kill us.

Summer was an illusion. It came and went and now we’re in an endless winter. I am dreading the darker nights and I am more fearful than ever, not just for me, but for everyone. Boris Johnson is trying to kill me. Sometimes, I feel like I’d like to kill him.