There’s a certain amount of irony in the purchase of the James Bond franchise by Amazon. Owner Jeff Bezos is a big player in the so-called Tech Bros, the multibillionaires across the pond who control so much of the media we consume, offering tame subservience to Donald Trump. The irony is that at least one of the Tech Bros, inevitably fascist saluting Elon Musk, is right up there with the great Bond villains, this time in real life.
Frankly, it matters not to me who owns the franchise. One way or the other, it will be some fabulously rich person who will become even more fabulously rich when the new Bond film is released in cinemas. The only way the lumpen proletariat can influence what happens is whether we pay to see it.
The Beach Boy Mike Love was endlessly quoted as saying “don’t fuck with the formula” when band mate and all round genius Brian Wilson wanted to make more adventurous music, instead of the endless cars, girls and surfing songs that made them famous. For me, when Wilson did “fuck with the formula”, which I felt began with the band’s classic album Pet Sounds in 1966, he created some of their best music. But the fact is, certainly in America, but not in England, Pet Sounds bombed and the record label hurriedly rushed out a greatest hits album which topped the charts. They agreed with Love. With Love now in his eighties, still touring an auto-tuned jukebox of 60s hits, you can make a fair argument to say he was right. Conversely, to an extent I hope Amazon don’t fuck with the formula.
I hope they don’t tinker with Bond’s sex. If Amazon want a female James Bond, then create Jane Bond, a completely different character. The clue is in the name, James. As for the actor, I would like to think he would be from Great Britain and Ireland and not, say, the USA. Sean Connery was a Scottish Bond, Pierce Brosnan an Irish Bond and the underrated George Lazenby as Aussie Bond, albeit one with a crap English accent. I know what some people are saying: shouldn’t James Bond be white?
Ian Fleming never revealed Bond’s colour in his novels. It just so happened that the actors chosen were white. And for a while, I saw the brilliant Idris Elba as the obvious successor to Daniel Craig, but the man himself says he’s too old (52). Does age matter? I honestly don’t know, but I have to say my favourite Bond, Roger Moore, stretched my imagination a little too far in his later Bond movies, particularly in the daredevil stunts and in the love action.
Bond is based in London, even if his assignments take place around the world. The likes of M, Q, Moneypenny are in the London offices, even if they are not British. But Bond will always and perhaps only work if he works out of our capital. A New York based Bond might appeal to American audiences and everyone else, I am not so sure. But anyway, who should the next Bond be?
I am not going to provide an enormous list, or any kind of list at all, but I am going to suggest one name: Staz Nair. Nair has appeared in a number of shows, including, I read, Game Of Thrones and he is currently starring in the BBC’s brilliant new cop action thriller series Virdee. All the way through, Virdee smoulders. He is built like a brick shit house, he is very handsome and he can act. He was born in London to Indian and Russian parents, which would make him the first British/Asian/Russian James Bond, or as I would put it the next James Bond.
Doubtless, the angry gammons in the media and on the fringes of politics would rage if the next Bond was not a caucasian but frankly I am not interested in what they might say. As a non-expert in casting movies, I just think he looks the part. It wouldn’t be fucking with the formula, either. Just a cracking choice as the new Bond.
I quite like the womanising, dry Martini quaffing Bond and I’d leave him like that, albeit with minor changes to suit modern times.
Daniel Craig has left big boots to fill. To my uneducated eye, Nair has the feet to fill them.
