The age of the train?

by Rick Johansen

We’ve been through some slogans when it comes to our railways, haven’t we? “We’re Getting There!” was one from the 1970s, which suggested that they were less shit than they used to be. “This is the age of the train” was another popular campaign, although in retrospect it is more remembered for being fronted by serial sex offender and all round pervert Jimmy Savile. Following yesterday and today’s trip on  Cross Country ‘Voyager’ trains, to and from Plymouth, I thought of another. “British trains – what a fucking mess this is.”

We booked our tickets ages ago so paid what I accepted was a reasonable price. Our train was basically two sets of trains coupled together. We decided to sit in the unreserved section at the rear. This was all going swimmingly until we left Taunton when the guard, or should I say train manager, instructed us, very politely I should add, that as the platform at Totnes were so short, there would not be room for all the coaches, all 10 of them, so they were closing the rear coaches and we had to move. Great. But it was not all bad news.

We decamped near the front section by first class and I enquired of the train manager whether we could upgrade our tickets to first class. For just £9.70 extra we did just that. Happy days as the sun started to come out in Somerset and was positively blazing as we hummed through the gorgeous section between Starcross and Teignmouth. An on time arrival made for a more than acceptable experience with Cross Country. Today’s return journey exposed some of the sheer madness of the current privatised railway network.

After an arduous afternoon, evening and night in the pubs of Plymouth we trudged up the hill to the railway station far earlier than we needed to be for our train, which was scheduled for 12.27, but we hoped to change to an earlier train by paying what would hopefully be a modest sum. This was an unexpectedly time-consuming effort as the very helpful and polite railway staff worked out the extra cost.  I was thinking that if it was around a tenner, although it would still be a rip off, I could live with it. It turned out that it would cost an additional £35 each, including a transactional fee which was necessary in order purely to fleece more money from us. This was considerably more than the price of the original ticket so we said, not in these actual words, sod that, we’re having a coffee while we wait for over an hour.

Our train left on time and we bagged decent seats in the unreserved coach. The train was maybe half full at best, as I understand the one before us was, too. How on earth can Cross Country trains be allowed to get away with this? At least Dick Turpin wore a mask.

I remember in the autumn of 2023, using the state-owned Dutch Railways, NS. You turned up, got whatever train you wanted and paid the same price for a ticket whether you booked on the day or weeks before. In fact, there was no need to even check the timetable because trains to everywhere were so frequent and of course there was absolutely no point booking in advance. What’s the difference? NS is run as a public service, British railways are run purely for profit. It’s as simple as that.

The train ride itself was pretty good. While the leg space is basically easyJet standard, it was okay. And of course the scenery, especially the stretches referred to above, is superb. But I can’t get over how everything in this country exists to rip you off. Particularly the railways.

It is not just Cross Country. It’s all of them. The easyJet dynamic pricing model is used by the train companies, but with added steroids. It is often cheaper to fly long distances and it is always cheaper to drive. And John Major’s insane privatisation has meant that instead of a public service monopoly, we now have private profit monopolies. Instead of asking how services can be improved, all that matters to the shareholders and wealthy executives is how much they can screw out of us.

Slowly but surely, the madness of private companies running trains for profit is being replaced by a return to the public sector, where it should be and always should have been. And not a moment too soon.

The only good thing about the railways is the staff, who do a great job and unlike their fat cat owners seem to have retained their duty of service to passengers (it’s not fucking customers, either).

It’s nice to let the train take the strain and by and large there was much to enjoy about our trips. As ever, the greed of the railway companies always raises its ugly head, as it did again today. I hate being ripped off, especially when it’s blatant and in plain sight. We decided not to be ripped off today but it has left a sour taste. I’ll be glad when you can just turn up, buy a ticket at the same price every time. And soon it will be.

 

You may also like