I just read on the BBC website that the TV presenter Pete Hegseth has said on Fox News that he has not washed his hands in 10 years. “Germs are not a real thing,” he said, eating a sandwich with the hand he was holding his cock with whilst having a pee a few moments before. Okay, I made up the sandwich bit although that’s pretty well what Mr Hegseth has been doing for a decade.

He then added, wonderfully, that micro-organisms did not exist because they could not be seen with the naked eye. Given that one gram (0.03oz) of human faeces (that’s shit to you and I) – about the weight of a paper clip – can contain one trillion germs, his understanding of science would appear to be questionable at best.

My loyal reader will know that I have a thing about people who don’t wash their hands after urinating and worse, I’m afraid, to the extent that I often take hand disinfectant with me when I am visiting the pub. I go to the trouble of washing all evidence of my bathroom visit from my hands, yet when I use the door handle, the odds are high that I am twice removed from someone’s penis. I could be returning to the bar with a small amount of someone else’s urine on my hands or shaking hands with someone who…oh, no. I don’t want to go there.

It is not just a small minority of men who show little regard for hygiene. I was in a gents toilet last weekend when men were carrying their pints into the gents, urinating and then taking their beer back to the bar without washing their hands. And when I eat out, I so hope the chef has better standards of cleanliness.

Please, gentlemen, think what you are doing when you finish your visit to the bog. Think where your hands have been and think about the minute amounts of urine and excrement you will be carrying around with you when you go back to see your mates or your partner. It’s not big, it’s not clever and if I want to hold your penis, I’ll ask you first. Thank you for reading.