In a surprising development, reported by the local media, TV personality Noel Edmonds (66) has announced that “death does not exist”. I am not aware of Noel’s scientific qualifications that enable him to come out with such a statement, but plainly he has forgotten all about “Noel’s House Party”, which died 15 years ago.
To be fair to Noel, he did qualify his comments by adding, “WI-Fi is destroying people’s electro-magnetic fields and all people are containers of energy”, which must make perfect sense if you have any idea what he is on about. I always say that you can never have enough Wi-Fi and I have never noticed any effect on my electro-magnetic field, but I bow to his superior knowledge.
To achieve a non death situation, Edmonds says that you have to imagine yourself as a container of energy that will exist beyond any physical realm, which tends to back up the Everly Brothers musical philosophy that “All I have to do is dream”. This idea, by simply imagining yourself to exist forever, strikes me as even better than the religious promise that if I behave myself I will survive my own death, especially if I can cut out the dying bit, which all seems a bit cruel and unnecessary.
The good news, concludes Noel, that all this living forever stuff has been known for a long time. However, I do wonder why he couldn’t have told us years ago, perhaps during a quiet section of the Multi Coloured Swap Shop before handing over to Keith Chegwin. Knowing that I could live forever might have stopped me going through the hassle of giving up smoking given it wouldn’t much benefit my longevity or cutting back on the finer things in life, like chips and cheese, sometimes taken together.
I’d all but forgotten Noel was still around, bless him. These days he is likely to be found on Channel Four’s “Deal or no deal”, which I have never seen, driving a taxi (for leisure, I hasten to add: I don’t think he has financial problems) or as a guest of Bristol Rovers.
I am not convinced about the “death does not exist” claim because there is a considerable chunk of evidence that suggests it actually does. But people, including Noel, is entitled to their opinion, no matter how barking mad it might appear to everyone else.
