I am glad I am not in Cardiff tonight. Not because I’d be frightened of pissed-up, coked-up 60-somethings in Stone Island clothing, terrorising the city centre, because it probably won’t be like that. Sure there will be plenty of 60-somethings reliving their middle-age at tonight’s Oasis show, but many of the crowd will be much younger and, shock horror, there will be girls and women there, too. No, the main reason I am glad I am not in Cardiff tonight is because I cannot abide stadium shows.
I have only ever been to three stadium shows in my life. Midsummer Music at Wembley Stadium in 1975, starring The Beach Boys, The Eagles, Joe Walsh, Rufus feat, Chaka Khan, Stackridge and Elton John, who decided not to play the hits until many people had left the stadium. I was standing next to a girl with bare breasts, something I had never seen before, but the inability to move or even see the bands – this was before big screens were used at outside shows – made it an unsatisfying day out. In the 2000s, I saw two more stadium shows, both in Cardiff at the then Millennium Stadium, and both shows featured Take That. The one without Robbie Williams was great fun. The one with not so much. I have never been to another stadium show since and never will again.
This probably means I shall never get to see all the big artists of the day, which some might think is a shame, but it really isn’t. My desire to see a top band is less than my desire to stand for hours, about a quarter of a mile from stage, and hear a lot of songs I could listen to more comfortably at home. But it’s not just stadium gigs I don’t much care for: it’s arena gigs, too.
A couple of months ago, I saw rock royalty Toto in the old NEC in Birmingham and the week after next I am seeing fellow rock royalty at the other Brum arena. As we are reasonably near the front of the Doobies show, I’ll enjoy it well enough, but I won’t like the band as much as I did when the Doobies played Bristol Colston Hall, now called the Bristol Beacon, about 14 years ago. It was more personal, I felt part of the action and, of course, I managed to blag backstage passes, something I clearly won’t be able to do this time.
My preference of venue will be a medium size venue. My favourite venue is the Hammersmith Apollo (formerly the Hammersmith Odeon), which holds anything between 3600 and 5000 punters. I’ve seen so many great bands there – Crosby, Stills and Nash, John Fogerty, Toto, Blue Oyster Cult, Bachman-Turner Overdrive to name but a few – and it’s always been perfect. Similarly, the Bristol Beacon, with a 2000 capacity, is just about the right size for the artists I like to watch. After that, it’s the small halls and I probably like some of them more than the others.
Oasis and the Principality – sadly it isn’t called the Millennium stadium anymore – will be a perfect marriage. It’s great for viewing, the sound is pretty good. The setlist, below, will be an Oasis fan’s dream and in my case a nightmare. Noel’s interpretations of Beatle songs and riffs, Liam still unable to sing in tune; no one will care. And a sea of bald patches will be swaying around as Liam ‘sings’ ‘Yougorragovit, Yougorratay your tie. Yougorra wha ya saaay‘ late into the evening.
Concert over, it’s the endless queues and waiting at Cardiff Central as you notice your ears are ringing because it was SO loud, you’re tired, you just want to be home. But weren’t they great? Another burst of ‘Yougorragovit, Yougorratay your tie. Yougorra wha ya saaay‘ before we arrive at Bristol Parkway and ‘please remember your Oasis merchandise before you leave the train. You may have paid £50 for that bucket hat but it was actually made by a blind kid in Pakistan for 20p. Thank you. Safe journey home.’
Here’s the setlist. Hardly worth going deaf for, is it?
- Acquiesce
- Morning Glory
- Some Might Say
- Cigarettes & Alcohol
- Fade Away
- Supersonic
- Roll With It
- Bring It On Down
- Talk Tonight
- Half the World Away
- Little by Little
- D’You Know What I Mean
- Stand By Me
- Cast No Shadow
- Hello
- Slide Away
- Whatever
- Live Forever
- Rock and Roll Star
- The Masterplan
- Don’t Look Back in Anger
- Wonderwall
- Champagne Supernova
