My loyal reader will surely have had enough of self-pitying whingeing about my continued failure to secure a living as a writer. It continues to irk that people like Stephen Yaxley-Lennon and the woman who used to be on the Apprentice describe themselves as journalists when they are truly terrible writers and presenters. Then again, my own stuff is littered with poor grammar, so perhaps I should not be so hard on them?

Perhaps, I might have been more successful in another era when there were far many more writing opportunities in terms of newspapers and magazines. Then again, I’ll never know. And it’s wrong anyway. Although I might not get paid for what I write, the opportunities to write are greater than ever.

I like to write a lot, so I have this blog. I am trying to write some books and I can self-publish with minimal cost through, for example, Amazon. There are countless websites people can write for, news groups to which one can contribute. I can write more than ever.

The internet has done all that and it offers opportunities for others who might not get a break. Take internet radio. I have several friends who present their own internet shows and very good they are, too. It might not be Andy Warhol’s famed ’15 minutes of fame’, it might not be a show on Radio two but it’s hugely satisfying to create something that others enjoy.

This is me trying to be positive. Having written mountains of blogs and other stuff, particularly in the last five years, the penny has dropped that I am not going to make a living at writing. With that realisation – hardly a revelation – I am coming to terms with the consequences. I shall have to continue writing for me and people want to read it, all well and good.

What I can say is that I gave it a bloody good shot. Unlike in many other phases of my life, I gave writing all I had and if it wasn’t good enough, there was nothing I could do.

And if no one reads my stuff, I’ll just write for me because I can. Writing is everything to me and as I emerge from yet another mental health dip (I have no idea why or how this comes and goes: if I did I suppose it wouldn’t happen) I am throwing everything at it again.

Sorry for the typos and mangled grammar. This is the best I can do.