“I’d revoke all of Bradley Wiggins medals and send him out to serve with our brave troops until he learns how to respect Her Majesty”, says someone called Ben on twitter.”Lost all respect for *sir* bradley wiggins tonight. anyman who cannot respect the monarchy has no place in my heart. i feel sick. wounded”, adds Sam. And finally, from someone called EnglandIBelieve (which gives you a clue where this person is coming from), “Bradley Wiggins pulling a silly face on the Olympic podium, so disrespectful, might be a Sir on the outside, total wanker on the inside.” What on earth did Sir Bradley do? Expose himself? Chin someone? No. He stuck his tongue out during our national anthem dirge and everyone in his team cracked up. It was the funniest thing I had seen in ages.

What is all this “respect” stuff about, anyway? I was brought up to believe that people earn respect and the royals have done nothing to earn mine. Abolishing the monarchy is not at the top of my list of priorities but I do not doff my cap as soon as a royal is mentioned. I know the functions they perform, rushing around to shake hands with people, reading out speeches from politicians and doing charity work, but this is hardly working in a coal mine, or being a brain surgeon or a scientist. It’s ancient tradition. Many people like this ancient tradition and good luck to them, but I don’t.

The entire honours system leaves me in despair anyway. I salute the likes of Sir Bradley Wiggins and if we are going to dish out gongs, then he would be among my first choices. As would Sir Chris Hoy, Dame Kelly Homes, Sir Steve Redgrave and so on. Huge achievers in life, great examples to your people. Contrast them with, say, Sir Lynton Crosby, knighted for telling lies to get David Cameron elected or Lady Shami Chakrabarti, given a peerage by Jeremy Corbyn for producing a whitewash of a report on anti-semitism in the Labour Party. I don’t respect Crosby at all and no I certainly don’t respect Chakrabarti for selling out any principles she might have had. The whole thing needs to be started again from scratch.

These halfwits listed above believe that we should now withdraw Sir Bradley’s medals, something we don’t have the power to do and send him to some foreign war. Thank you for your views, but how would this make someone respect her majesty? This isn’t North Korea (yet). And, back to that “respect” word again, because he stuck his tongue out he has lost his place in someone’s heart. Oh, diddums. Come back and tweet when you have something important to say.

When it comes to the national anthem, I really don’t care what people do when it’s being played, and that includes the worthless Jeremy Corbyn for whom there are far more serious reasons for wanting to get rid of him. Sing, don’t sing – I just don’t care. Well, I say I don’t care because maybe if we had a better anthem, like the French and Italians, I’d be inclined to join in myself. But instead we sing this nonsense about a non-existent supernatural being who is being asked to save her majesty from what we don’t know, but to send her victorious, happy and glorious, long to be a powerless head of state. Gobbledegook, if you ask me.

I’m more concerned about the twitter buffoons defaming the achievements of a real achiever, like Sir Bradley Wiggins. Let them bow to royalty if that floats their boats but I’ll stick with Sir Bradley and his pals. Let’s make him king instead.