My loyal reader will be well aware of my feelings towards Jeremy Corbyn. Woefully out of his depth, the friend of terrorists, the voice of reheated Bennite socialism, a man not fit to be Labour leader, never mind prime minister. That’s clear enough, isn’t it? However, I do realise there is a need for balance and I should add that I regard the current prime minister with absolute contempt. Boris Johnson is a serial liar, a fraud, a shyster and a huckster. In the gutter press you are only likely to read about Corbyn’s many failings. Today’s papers provide perfect examples.

The Mail and the Express attack Corbyn for apparently getting confused about when the Queen’s speech is broadcast on Christmas Day. Labour’s Magic Grandpa thought it took place on Christmas morning. These are, inevitably, grounds to pile into Corbyn. To which I reply, in the voice of the late Christopher Hitchens, non-sense.

If it turns out he doesn’t watch our Liz utter a few banalities, just after Top of the Pops has finished, then that means that Corbyn is in tune with 90% of the population. In figures I have just made up, the 10% who tune in to her maj are all over 70 and literally no one under 30 gives a toss. 100% of those who do watch learn nothing from the experience and forget everything the old girl has said within a split second.

I am not entirely convinced that it matters whether Corbyn knows the time of the royal speech. It could be that he prefers to spend time with his family, tuck into a nut roast or read a few chapters from Das Kapital. I appreciate that there are people who worship the royal family and will set aside the Prosecco for a moment in order to hear Liz speaking warmly about one of her sons who had a close relationship with a convicted paedophile or the wife of one of her grandsons who married, much to the chagrin of the gutter press, A Black Woman. But not me though. In the very loosest sense of the word, I like the Queen but I am not going to watch her annual broadcast unless I have managed to get pissed too early in the day.

Of all the things to get angry about, Corbyn not knowing when the Queen’s Christmas borefest is shown is surely not one of them. Indeed, if you are frothing with indignation about it, I suggest you have a strong word with yourself. Corbyn isn’t a very nice person and there’s no way he should be PM, but the gutter press is not providing essential balance and reminding you that Johnson is not fit for any job in public life and probably anywhere else.

It’s a terrible choice but it shouldn’t depend on whether the leader of the opposition knows that time our dear old Queen hands out free platitudes to her subjects. I rather think this is a win for Corbyn in a campaign that he is destined to lose.