Here, I begin with a rhetorical question: is it just me who looks in a mirror and thinks, “Ugh”? The mirror in the barber shop is the worst one. I have to sit and look at myself for, I don’t know, half an hour. I can’t stand it and never could. Which brings me to selfies. I absolutely hate them and not just mine.

The mirror, and the selfie, shows all my glitches and imperfections, of which there are many. Some are the result of old age, others are simply what nature has inflicted upon me. I do not, ever, look and think, “By fuck, I look absolutely fantastic, today. I must share it with the world.”

When they appear on social networks, friendly comments appear like ‘Looking good!” Now let’s be honest: no one is going to say, “Looking shit” are they?

Thin, I know, is supposed to be beautiful. Society says that, the media enforces societal perceptions. Weight loss is widely praised, especially when young people are the weight losers. And here’s a thing. When I was young, and indeed not so young, I found keeping down my weight was the easiest thing in the world. I hardly needed to brag about it: it just happened, not least because of all the energy I expounded. This is not so easy when you are older. Just wait.

I am trying to do something weight loss, though more for health reasons than anything else. I don’t buy the body image police who define skin and bone as desirable and shape as ugly. It is particularly cruel to those who have always struggled with their weight and always will. And the truth is, no matter how much you work to preserve your looks, time will always win.

The odd selfie, I kind of get, specifically the ones showing off a good time with friends. The relentless posting of selfies leaves me cold. It is as if self-worship is something to admire. It isn’t. And it’s fine to be like Donald Trump and Boris Johnson and be deeply in love with yourself. Sadly, just like them, there’s no good reason why you should be.