Let’s try and be as good as Costa Rica, says Premier League boss.

Great to hear Premier League supremo Richard Scudamore’s advice to the FA about the England team today: “It’s not our fault it’s shit. Why don’t you copy Costa Rica?”, he didn’t quite say, but really did say: “Costa Rica played very well in the World Cup and where are they playing their league football? We get hung up about they can’t possibly be good enough unless they’re playing for Chelsea or Manchester United. Of course they can be good enough.”

Contrary to popular wisdom, I am not entirely stupid. Unlike the senior league in most sports, the Premier League doesn’t exist in order to further the national game. It is to make as much money as possible, or as Scudamore puts it, “The objective for me is to put on the best possible show.” And that’s it: the Premier League is a show, it’s a product, it doesn’t have supporters, it has customers and consumers.

So far as Scudamore is concerned, England should select its side from the worst 10 teams in the Premier League and the top 12 in the Championship, “If they’re English and they’re good enough.” I suspect you might find a sprinkling of Englishmen in the Premier League’s rockier outposts, but would they be really be good enough to play for England? You don’t see Spain picking from their B division, or Germany straying too far away from the top echelons of the Bundesliga, but then they are countries whose priorities are a little different from ours: they like to win things.

Let’s be more specific about Scudamore’s selection credentials. The worst 10 teams in last year’s Premier League were West Ham downwards. Here’s the list:

12 West Ham United League
13 West Bromwich Albion
14 Leicester City
15 Newcastle United
16 Sunderland
17 Aston Villa
18 Hull City (R)
19 Burnley (R)
20 Queens Park Rangers (R)

So, who is available to play for England from the above teams? I am bound to miss out a few names but Andy Carroll from West Ham, perhaps, Berahino from WBA, Vardy from Leicester, no one from Newcastle, Delph from Villa (oh wait a minute…), Hull City…er…, Burnley and QPR (Austin). It is so tempting to say that I rest my case with this pitiful list of players, not one of whom is international class, or in most cases anywhere near it, but if you look into the Championship, the whole thing becomes laughable.

In the words of Loyd Grossman, let’s look at the evidence:

1 Bournemouth (C, P)
2 Watford (P)
3 Norwich City (O, P)
4 Middlesbrough
5 Brentford
6 Ipswich Town
7 Wolverhampton Wanderers
8 Derby County
9 Blackburn Rovers
10 Birmingham City

I do not watch much Championship football, but I am familiar with some of the players who turn out for the Under 21s and they are nothing special. I have not seen one Championship player in Gareth Southgate’s mediocre squad who looks like a Premier League player to me, otherwise he would be in the Premier League. Perhaps I am being unkind to Brentford and the like and they have large group of potentially world class players chomping at the bit, but I somehow doubt it. Perhaps we could try League One instead?

‘Arry Redknapp was at it again the other day, saying this would be the most exciting Premier League season ever and Thierry Henry questioned whether he really needed to tell us this was the best league in the world, something he has obviously come up with on his own, not because he is on their payroll of average pundits. Some games undoubtedly will be exciting, although Bournemouth v Stoke and Norwich City v Watford do little to set the pulse racing.

I expect the Premier League will be more exciting than the Costa Rican league, but I’ll bet most of the Costa Ricans are better technical players than most of ours. Not that Scudamore cares, as long as the show goes on.