I am in the mood to celebrate tonight. No, not because Barcelona have turned over Juventus in a half-decent Champions League final tonight but because Kensington Palace have released pictures of Prince George and Princess Charlotte. Life doesn’t get anymore exciting, does it?
It’s not that I want to get rid of the Royal Family because that would suggest I care either way about them. But enough people do like them to convince me that there’s no point in changing things for change sake. After all, we might end up with a politician as head of state like Boris Johnson or George Ferguson. Be careful what you wish for and all that.
However, I do find the whole system baffling. Last week, for example, Prince Harry, who is actually called Henry, was awarded a knighthood for services to his grandmother by his grandmother, AKA the Queen. In other words, Harry has had an award for doing his (non) job. I appreciate that the honours system is totally discredited and has been for years but this just seems silly.
Don’t get me wrong: I quite like Harry, in the sense that he comes across as a decent enough chap when he is on telly. He’s not all that bright, witness the less than stellar qualifications he gained at Eton, a grade B in A level art and D in A level geography was the best he could muster, before gaining an officer’s job in the British Army. Let’s be frank: if you or I had had the best education money – public money! – could buy and we ended up with a D in Geography, I doubt that we would be shouting from the rooftops about it. But he did help organise the Invictus games last year for disabled servicemen and that was truly inspiring. If he’d got an unnecessary honour for that, I might not be moaning about it!
I wish Bill and Kate all the best raising their children and have absolutely nothing against them. It was not his fault that he was born into the monarchy and not hers that she fell in love with a prominent member of it. What gets me is the sheer banality of the media coverage. The BBC plumbs new depths in its coverage. Here are some examples from its website:
Kensington Palace said the images were “very special”.
As the toddler destined to be king continues to adjust to having a new addition to his family, his parents will hope the 22-month-old and the one-month-old will forge a bond as strong as the one enjoyed by Princes William and Harry.
George was very lively and Charlotte had given her parents a “few sleepless nights”.
To judge how banal these comments are, you only have to imagine them saying the exact opposite.
The images were not special.
George’s parents hope their children will forge a weak bond between them.
George wakes up a lot at night but don’t worry: George’s parents have got a full time nanny to sort him out.
That’s the trouble with, and the whole point of, the Royal Family. They’re a bit of fluff, albeit a very expensive bit of fluff. People seem to like the fact we have a Royal Family although they have little idea of what they do or what they’re for. We are, after all, a relatively rich country and if we can afford, say, the Trident missile replacement, then we can afford to maintain a Royal Family.
But please spare me bollocks like “(Prince George) appears to be kissing his sister on the forehead” because it’s not entirely unique to the human race where infants and babies kiss each other.
At least it’s not quite as bad as a previous BBC headline which read: “As it happened: Birth of a Royal baby”. I didn’t read that bit but I do hope they spared readers the placenta stuff.