Yesterday afternoon, we did what elderly people are well known for doing: we went to the pictures. Not for the old people’s cinema special where you are treated to – and I am not making this up – a cup of tea and a biscuit, but a regular mid afternoon weekday showing. Having not been to the pictures – some folk call it the cinema, but not Bristolians – since before lockdown, I’d all but forgotten what it was like. It turned out next to nothing had changed, although I could not see a ticket office, and it was quite a pleasant experience.
The film we saw was Project Hail Mary starring Ryan Gosling and the storyline revolves around his character, schoolteacher Ryland Grace. having to solve the riddle behind a mysterious substance that’s causing the sun to die out. Not that I was aware of that aspect during the 156 minutes running time. In truth, I had no idea what was going on from beginning to end, but I did enjoy it.
What, I hear you ask: you enjoyed an extremely long movie in which you had not the first clue what was going? Weirdly, I did exactly that.
It worked because the charismatic Gosling carried it brilliantly throughout its two hours and thirty six minutes, a marathon watching experience for someone with mind-stifling ADHD. He spent much of the movie talking either to himself or to a loveable alien called Rocky. If he doesn’t get a major award for his part, we may as well scrap the awards with immediate effect. (Not a bad idea, anyway.)
Not only was the movie a marathon watch, it could have been longer. Apparently, it came in originally at around four hours, something I could definitely not have coped with. Even though I was watch-watching long before the end, at no point did I fall asleep or even come close to falling asleep, all of which is a miracle in itself.
Number nine screen at the Vue in Cribbs Causeway actually had people in it, which surprised me a little. When we booked, no one else had so we were expecting that it would just be the two of us. At a (wild) guess, I reckon the place was maybe a sixth full with mainly younger punters, along with a couple of old codgers like us.
We eschewed the usual cinematic experience of picking up a dustbin-sized box of pop corn or a giant plastic cup full of ice, with a small portion of high sugar cola splashed over. I would not sit there chomping through such delights while watching, say Match of the Day so there was no reason to do so yesterday. We do it, I know, because it’s tradition, but I am advised these days by medical folk to avoid excessive amounts of sugar and, frankly, it’s the kind of junk we consume when we’re not even hungry. See also chocolate bars, crisps and ice cream.
Mercifully, my partner did follow the plot and probably enjoyed the movie more than I did. Having only been diagnosed with pretty severe ADHD in recent years, at least now I have an understanding why I am unable to follow even the most basic storylines, basic storylines like James Bond, believe it or not. It has long been the bane of my partner’s life, having to deal with my regular questions like, “What happened there?”, “Who is that character?” and “Can you explain that bit?” If I had behaved like that during Project Hail Mary, I suspect divorce proceedings would now be underway. Instead, I kept up the pretence that I had some idea of what was happening right to to the end.
One reason I enjoyed it more than I might otherwise have done was the music soundtrack. We had Kris Kristofferson’s Sunday Mornin’ Comin’ Down, Beach Boy Dennis Wilson’s brilliant Rainbows from his great 1977 solo album Pacific Ocean Blue, Stargazer by Neil Diamond and, wonderfully, Two of Us by The Beatles. Once again in my life, music saved the day.
I may well be back. Alternatively, I may just settle down with some light, brainless, unchallenging but satisfying TV like Virgin River, The Lincoln Lawyer and The Diplomat, where at least I can follow the story because by and large there isn’t one.
Despite the fact I didn’t really understand it, I loved Project Hail Mary and maybe you will, too. It’s worth it if only for Ryan Gosling’s performance alone. I’ve never seen anything like it and maybe I never will again. The movie had a sprinkle of stardust over it and sometimes that is enough.
