The best news of the day is that Uri Geller is going to stop Brexit. He has written to Theresa May and told her: “I feel psychically and very strongly that most British people do not want Brexit. I love you very much but I will not allow you to lead Britain into Brexit. As much as I admire you, I will stop you telepathically from doing this – and believe me I am capable of executing it.” This, as Marina Hyde puts it, changes everything.

There are a few drawbacks though which Uri will have to overcome. Firstly, the world of the psychic is not real. There is no spirit world, no one can talk to people who are dead because they are dead. I’m sure you can see the problem here. And telepathy, like the psychic world, is totally made up.

Our Uri made his living by bending spoons using his non existent psychic powers. He bent them because he is an illusionist. The great James Randi, who has spent a lifetime exposing the the frauds of the spirit world can do it. So can all manner of illusionists and magicians. It ain’t rocket science. In fact, it ain’t science at all.

However, if in the unlikely event it turns out Uri really does have psychic ability, the country can be saved from Jeremy Corbyn, as well as Brexit. He is using the power of his mind to ensure that, “Jeremy Corbyn never gets the keys to Number 10 Downing Street”. Presumably by bending them?

We needed a story like this. Britain is the laughing stock of the world thanks to Brexit. The presence of a shyster and huckster like Uri Geller merely adds to the farce.