Bad news for my army of loyal reader: my non-awaited memoir of my life in Briz (for the uninitiated, Briz is a suburb on the east of Bristol) has been delayed. I was at the stage where I was ready to submit it to a proof-reader, an actual professional in his field, but I decided to delay. And why? Because, quite frankly, it wasn’t/isn’t good enough. It needs rewriting in parts, it needs sharpening up in other parts. I’m not exactly starting again because I’ve already got some 50,000 words in the bank but if I am expecting – hoping, more like – people to pay money for my work, I’d best make it the best I can do.

I realised all this under the Croatian sun, where we have been gently grilling for the last 10 days. In between falling asleep and snoring myself awake, I’ve been utilising my few remaining brain cells and coming up with writing ideas. If I am being totally honest, some of the ideas are actually other people’s ideas, but that’s neither here nor there. Ideas are ideas, though, eh?

None of this is an excuse for having written next to nothing on this blog, though. No. The real reason for my absence in cyberspace is I’ve been having too good a time walking bloody miles every day – actually, it’s kilometres over here – turning myself into a lobster and generously supporting the Croatian alcohol industry.

Next week, maybe even from Friday if the weather forecast is anything to go by, things should be back to normal. The memoir rewrite starts on Monday.