Lots of countries are doing stuff to mitigate the arrival of the Omicron variant. Ireland, which has a high rate of infection, has already announced significant measures including closing nightclubs, reducing maximum capacity to events such as sport and gigs to 50% and telling people to work from home. And us? We’re doing nothing. Even as South Africa, where Omicron is rife, has seen infections rise by 468% IN A SINGLE WEEK Boris Johnson has concluded we carry on as usual. Worse still for me, I think I’m the only person in the land who is remotely bothered.

I mean, 468%. IN A SINGLE WEEK. I’m no mathematician but if the same figures were repeated in the UK, you’re talking about a number of at least 200,000 and up to A QUARTER OF A MILLION new cases every single day. Assuming hospitalisations rose accordingly, you’re looking at circa 3000 people being admitted to hospital every day along with some 600 deaths every day. I’m not saying these numbers will happen. I am just saying what if the same figures were repeated in the UK.

I am hoping that Boris Johnson knows something I don’t but I suspect he knows something I don’t in a bad way. I’m hoping that Chief Medical Officer Chris Whitty and Chief Scientific Officer Sir Patrick Vallance have said to Johnson, “This is all fine. No need to bring in any kind of restrictions. Everything will definitely be hunky dory.” My feeling is that Whitty and Vallance have said, “You must act, you clownish knob” and Johnson’s ministers have said, as Sajid Javid really said, “We take account of scientific advice”, before ignoring it.

In the unlikely event I become PM tomorrow, I’m starting off by bringing in measures like they have in Ireland. Then I shall remove all taxes on alcohol and lie here in a drunken stupor until the virus goes away. After all, Johnson has got everything wrong so far with Covid. Why would he suddenly now get something right?