“I mean, that Princess Diana documentary on Channel 4. Disgusting. The poor woman’s been dead for, what, 20 years now? Can’t she have a bit of peace? Like, she died in Paris in the back of a car driven by a drunk driver, being chased by the Papa…Paper…newspapers. It’s a disgrace. Now those bastards at Channel 4 have dug up some private footage of Di, gawd bless her. I mean, private. And here it is, being shown on national telly. Imagine those poor boys? Their mum died in a terrible accident – or did Prince Philip have her killed? That’s what the Express said! – and some bloody speech coach is making a mint from flogging the tapes to Channel 4. Unprincipled bastard. You know and the Daily Mail said the other day that it was a disgrace that that this programme about Di was being shown and they were right. Thank god someone is standing up for the British people who still love our royal family. They just wanted to make that Charles look like a big of a bastard didn’t they, saying he’d only met Diana a dozen or so times before he married her and it was like one of those Muslamic marriages. How do they know that stuff because I didn’t see it in the Sun and the Mail so it can’t be true, can it? Just leave the girl alone in her grave. You would have thought she’d get some peace now she’s, well, dead but no, those newspapers are still chasing her. Not the Sun and the Mail and the Express obviously but the rest of them. Anyway, I’ve got to go. No point in criticising something you haven’t seen so I’ll watch Diana: in her own words just so I know what the fuss is about. I know it will be disgusting though and everyone else who watches it, apart from me, obviously, is just a sick Peeping Tom. Now, where’s the remote?”