A recommendation appears on my Facebook page. It’s for the ‘GILLETTE INTIMATE MEN’S GROOMING KIT‘. The product overview, though lengthy, is worth reading:
“This men’s grooming kit is designed for intimate shaving and trimming with a pair of products that will work seamlessly with one another. The Gillette Intimate men’s pubic hair trimmer, i3, is ideal for shaping and styling hair covering intimate body parts. Not only has it been designed for trimming pubic hair, but it is supplied with a sensitive comb attachment to help ensure you don’t trim too closely when working on particularly tricky-to-reach areas. There again, the supplied Intimate razor will allow you to achieve a smooth finish whether you want to remove all of your pubes or just style them in the way you prefer. This male grooming kit contains all the essentials to achieve your look your way.”
All well and good, but why on earth am I receiving ads like this?
According to Facebook, this is why:
“We use information you provide us, actions you’ve taken on our platforms and if applicable, actions you’ve taken on other websites, apps or in stores that those businesses or organizations have shared. We do not use information with special protections, you choose to provide, to show you ads.”
In other words, it has been ascertained that I have a close personal interest in trimming my pubic hair and I have a concern that I could damage “those particularly tricky-to-reach areas.” I do not intend to reveal my intimate personal preferences – you could be about to eat your lunch – but suffice to say I have never considered purchasing “The Gillette Intimate Men’s pubic hair trimmer, i3.” Yet somehow Facebook thinks my life could be improved by obtaining one.
In order to better understand the subject, I carried out some in-depth research via Mr Google and it appears there are at least nine different type of male pubic hairstyles. These are they:
- The Lightning Rod
- The Boyzilian
- The Umbrella
- The South Pole
- The North Pole
- The Hotspot
- El Diablo
- The Porn Star
- The Bermuda Triangle
I shall spare you the descriptions, except for one, the exciting number seven style, El Diablo which – and I am not making this up – is a “Hulk Hogan upside-down-horseshoe masterpiece“. I am not an expert on what women find attractive in men but I am guessing that pubic hair styles are not among them. My dating days are long behind me but I cannot imagine a situation whereby I would be trying to impress a potential girlfriend by telling her I had an upside down Hulk Hogan moustache just above the old fella, unless I was trying to make her laugh.
Suffice to say that I shall not be investing in a Gillette Intimate Men’s Grooming Kit but I fear that now I have clicked on the advert that I shall now see any number of offers to enhance my nether regions. There is clearly a market for such products, presumably among younger men with beach bodies and not for older gentlemen who are more likely to be thrown back into the sea by Greenpeace if spotted on any beach.
If this particular grooming kit is something you use, my male readers, I’d just ask you to keep it to yourself. Otherwise, I might have nightmares about Hulk Hogan’s moustache and that helps no one.
